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TheDreamer17
1,708 M Hopeful Heart
PathStep 51 Compassion hearts57 Forum posts21 Forum upvotes34 Current upvotes34 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2022 Member sinceOctober 21, 2020
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I'm slipping, and I'm scared of it.
Depression Support / by TheDreamer17
Last post
 March 2nd, 2021
...See more I can tell I'm falling back. I can barely pay attention in my classes, I forget everything, and I can't make myself care. It's jumping from one activity to the next, blaring music through headphones, staying up late when I finally find something I like. I can't fall back again. I can't do this again. When things got this bad about a year ago, everything blacked out. It became a blur and I genuinely don't remember anything from that time. I can't care. I want to be okay but I keep moving from obsession to obsession, I need something to daydream about to get away. My family stresses me out and I have to zone out when I'm around them. I have a therapist but talking about my stuff doesn't help too much, I can't control my mood and I just want to be okay. I want to get a break from school but I know I could fail classes. Idk anymore.
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Hello (Possible TW)
Self-Harm Recovery / by TheDreamer17
Last post
 December 25th, 2020
...See more Hi. Call me Daydream or Flower. My pronouns are she/her, and I am a teen. I love fall, warm drinks like tea and coffee, and I have a cat. I have depression, suffer from severe panic attacks, and am in a situation where I am uncomfortable talking to my parents and am alone for 8 hours a day, due to the pandemic. I have only self-harmed a few times but never have reached blood. I used scissors, knives, and even a nail clipper to cut myself. It's a long and tiring process, which ends with barely a scratch, but it is something I have common urges to do. Often I am saved by how tired I am. I have tried to make myself vomit multiple times, without success. I know that I can very easily escalate this into an issue. This really isn't me. No one would think I would be doing this, and I have assured many people I do not self-harm. Which makes it worse. I hope I can find support here :)
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One of the worst things about depression (For me)
Depression Support / by TheDreamer17
Last post
 December 8th, 2020
...See more One of the worst things about having clinical depression diagnosed as a teen (For me) is that you hate it so, so much. You hate the pain, the lack of energy and motivation, how it makes you feel. You hate that it's stolen years from you. And I want to heal, I do. I want to take the medication, and I do. But I'm terrified of who I am without my depression. It's become a part of me. Who will I be? I'm a pessimistic person. I use dark humor to express myself. Will I still have that? Ironically, my depression has become a comfort blanket for my insecurities caused by my depression. I try to romanticize happier moments through writing and art. I talk about good moments, I tell jokes. But I can't live my life like this. I'm afraid, though.
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