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TheNoSparkleStar
1 909 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts112 Forum posts16 Forum upvotes81 Current upvotes81 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceSeptember 10, 2023
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I dont know
General Support / by TheNoSparkleStar
Last post
 October 24th, 2023
...See more i dont know what im feeling rn i dont know who im mad at... me prolly... but i dont have anyone else... just me... so i cant afford to be mad at me too... i dont like this feeling... this emptiness... the vagueness... the tears leak from my eyes without any stop and i couldnt do anything to stop it or accept it... i feel my heart dark and black... void of every emotion and love... i feel like my life's a garbage basket where everyone throws in their *** but what they forget is i have my own *** to accommodate... everyone's disappointed at me in some way and i know its not my job to keep them at peace but i just couldnt let it or them be... tiny happinesses light up my day but i couldnt own them as they dont feel mine i dont know whom to call as mine whom to trust whom to share my life with i dont know... my life's *** i just know that...
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I am a Mess
General Support / by TheNoSparkleStar
Last post
 October 17th, 2023
...See more I am a mess. I am an introvert who once gets into her zone becomes an extrovert. I am an introvert who once sees her people would relax but yet still have that feeling of awareness. I am a shy person who doesn't opens her mouth at the first meeting but once she gets comfortable, boy you're in big trouble. I am a talkative person with literally describing every single detail which is not at all needed. I am a multitasker by doing all of the work given by other people but I never do mine. I am a listener, I can sit through hours and listen to whatever you wanna say but I hesitate to approach anyone to listen to me. I am a speaker but I shut up when I see a small disinterest from the others. I am a speaker but when I start to talk about myself there are no words coming out of my mouth. I am a baker, I love to bake but I don't like who I become once I receive the criticism which is so not constructive. I am a student who loves to do math, but I can't seem to solve the real life problems which is playing out in front of me. I am a coder who wants to contribute something to the society and prove it to them but I haven't found any passion in this field. I am a reader, I love to read books but I long for a reading buddy who's just like me. I am a writer, yes I don't write like many people out there but I write to fill my heart's content. I am a writer but when I sit down to write about myself all I can see is a blank page. I am delusional thinker wishing for that guy who could love my imperfect self but I know that wish isn't gonna happen anytime soon. I am a girl who is beautiful in her own away but never ever appreciates her beauty, all she does is criticize every single detail about her. I am a girl who has long hair and loves it but I can't maintain it seeing as they wither away just like everything else in my life right now. I am a girl who has two younger brothers, who'll always matter more to everyone around me. I am a girl who is depressed but isn't doing anything to reach out and ask for the help she desperately needs. I am a girl who can't even breath properly due to god knows what. I am a girl who struggles to take in even a single breath in, knowing each time she does it, it hurts her both physically and mentally. I am girl who was bullied mentally and physically but never got anyone to stand beside her. I am a girl who listens to all the *** everyone says and doesn't says back. I am a girl who advices people to stand up for themselves but never has once stood up for her. I am a girl who begs people to love themselves but all she does is hate herself completely. I am a girl who's slowly turning into a woman watching everything she built breaking down into million tiny pieces. I am a mess, that's all I am.
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I got rejected
General Support / by TheNoSparkleStar
Last post
 October 17th, 2023
...See more no not that kind of rejected... i gave this job interview a month back and the results are in now... i didnt get it... my best friend got it tho and im so happy for her its just that when i gave that interview somewhere in my gut said that this would be it... im gonna fricking land this job and now i didnt... i dont know this wasnt my dream or ideal job but i started to envision myself working there and man i really did see myself there... deep down i knew i wouldnt get it cuz why are they gonna recruit a failure like me but i just i dont know i felt it inside i guess i know when things are mean to happen they happen, this is just some job after all not my whole life but i dont know im not admitting to myself but im admitting here, its sucks being rejected... i mean ive been rejected my whole like for every single not only studies or career wise, even life wise ive been rejected everywhere but i thought this might be a place where i wouldnt be... i do also know when the job which is meant for me ill surely get that but what if this was it what if im leaving things behind which is meant for me and i didnt fight for it i feel like what if when i do get whatever is meant for what if even that job or thing rejects me... cuz im such a failure... i am a failure... i am a no one....
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I'm Turning 21
General Support / by TheNoSparkleStar
Last post
 October 13th, 2023
...See more im turning 21 in less than 10 minutes and i dont know i dont feel good like there's something constricting in my chest weighing my lungs down in a way i cant breathe what if im not ready for 21? i still havent even figured out my 20 properly and now im turning 21? tffff! i havent even lived my life and almost 21 years have passed away... is my life gonna be like this... i dont want that... i dont wanna be 21 but its inevitable so *** it
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You matter
7 Cups Online Therapy / by TheNoSparkleStar
Last post
 October 1st, 2023
...See more You matter Your fears matter Your wishes matter Your dreams matter You feelings matter Everything thing about you, matters It's hard to break the shell you've build around yourself, I get that... I've done the same too... you don't need to break it and let yourself out only to crumble back in... Its hard when you cry out for help and there's literally none by your side... it's hard when people let a small sound of discomfort you're next to them the very next second I'm not gonna say that this time will pass on, even tho it does but the pain lingers only staining your soul You gotta do what you gotta do, don't let the pain get you You are so much more than the pain, you're worth everything in this world so get up, make small cracks in your shell and let in the rays, if not you might be late in saving yourself....
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I miss him
7 Cups Online Therapy / by TheNoSparkleStar
Last post
 September 13th, 2023
...See more I miss him so much that it aches physically. How'd y'all cope up with missing someone? Do share your coping mechanisms to help me.
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