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TiredAllTheTime22
205 M Embraced 2
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts14 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2019 Member sinceMay 17, 2019
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A Speech That I Probably Will Never Say (Part 1)
Anxiety Support / by TiredAllTheTime22
Last post
 May 19th, 2019
...See more I want to start off by saying that the hatred or dislike I've had towards has diminished. Instead it has turned into fear: pure, unadulterated fear that has been steadily growing over the past 10 years you have been in my life. You're probably wondering what exactly I'm scared of you for. Well I wanna explain that in order from start to finish, so let's go back to when we first moved into this house; you didn't have a job or had been working from home. Everyday I'd get yelled at for something, most of those things were my fault but it was more about the fact that it was constant rather than the reason why. Another thing you did was, when I'd walk by your open room door, you'd comment on how I looked. Saying things like: "You look frumpy." or "Did you even look in the mirror before you left the house this morning?" Now keep in mind, I was 10. You, a 32 year old at the time, were bashing a child who already goes through constant bullying and teasing at school; a child who had started to show signs of mental instability. And you wanna know the lesson you and your mother had taught me during that time? "If they weren't saying it to your face, they were talking about you behind your back." And what exactly were you trying to accomplish? Did you think that would motivate me to try to better my appearance? Because it didn't. Not only did it lower what little self esteem I had, it also made me paranoid. (This is gonna be in multiple parts cuz I have a lot to say)
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