Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Unconchshell
988 M Little Steps 2
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts21 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2018 Member sinceNovember 12, 2015
Bio
Recent forum posts
Unconchshell profile picture
Opinions wanted and valued.
Depression Support / by Unconchshell
Last post
 November 13th, 2015
...See more Wasn't sure where to put this post (whether in the seperation category or in here.) Here is the situation. I am looking for some unbiased opinions so that it may hopefully lead to conflict resolution. "Ive been interlocked (on and off) in a very deep, emotionally draining conversation with a male that resides in my house (roommate.) The male moved into our house about 4 months ago. He came here from Australia seeking guidance and to ‘unfold per se. His initial goal was to ‘find himself and work on his long term objective of owning a global cycling business. After a month, we started to develop (at least what I consider) a very intimate level of trust. He would open up to me about issues that he had dealt with in his past (such as being rejected by his parents) and I would reciprocate on occasion by verbally regurgitating things that made a very big impact in my life. Eventually, one night, I opened up about being sexually violated. I ended up wailing in his arms for what seemed like hours. During the entire process of mourning, the male gently rocked me, wiped away my tears, etc. Midnight approached and I was still sobbing uncontrollably - and so, he laid me down in HIS bed.. The next few days passed by and I was still feeling rattled, so I enquired about sleeping in his room once again (this time, on a separate mattress.) The male seemed to have nothing wrong with this. I told him to be weary, as males only sleep with females when they are trying to form a partnership, etc. He said there were no qualms and brushed it off. I slept in his room, on my own bed, for a total of 14 days and nights. Each night, the intimate level of communication would continue - just as strong as before. Who are you? Who am I? What do you want in life? Who has hurt you? Why did they hurt you that way? What have you been through, partner? By the beginning of the second week - it happened. I unfurled. I shot up in my bed, hot and flustered. He questioned why I was so warm as I covered myself in my sheets - I was hiding. For a few moments, I paused. Eventually, I told him that I loved him. I love his openness. I love his ability to simply sit and listen. I love his dreams, goals and aspirations. I love his beautiful, warm heart and mind. Although it may seem like a love generated out of confronting my sexual harassment - I know deep down that it is not by any means. After making that simple confession, we laced fingers, I crawled into his bed and it was pure silence for the rest of the night. By the next week, things started to turn. As the end of week two approached, he glanced at me with such a disdained look in his face and implied that I should leave his room because he wanted personal space. Being the humble, open human being that I am - I granted his wishes and moved back downstairs. Things began to escalate from there. There was now a constant tension in the house that was even being felt by a third party. The male and I could not engage in simple activities without feeling awkward together. Conversation felt forced. Nothing more then how are yous were exchanged. And so I addressed the issue. Over the past two days, we have been bickering. The issue has yet to find a conclusion. All the fighting, pressure and anxiety is causing tiredness - inevitably leading to irrational statements (which, we all know escalates and makes the situation worse than it started out to be.) I told him I love him and that I always will. I have spoken about going where he goes, moving if necessary and surrendering what I have to in order to make things work - because thats what partners do when they unconditionally love each other. Unfortunately, the male says that he is not looking for a physical relationship at this time. He is looking to find himself, and not another to complete him. HOWEVER, the male has mentioned that he wants to maintain an intimate level of friendship and grow upon that - hopefully one day, leading to something greater (which leaves me with happiness yet, insecurity..) I have been feeling very distraught over the entire situation. I feel as though we were in a solid relationship the whole time - or at least FOR SURE heading in that direction. To be labeled per se as a friend after bedding with someone.. and then the same person giving you hope for a future relationship.. I am upset. I am confused. I have so many mixed emotions." Thoughts?
Search more from @Unconchshell
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
11 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Chief Chat Honest Voice Strong Start Reconnect First Post Reaching out First Compassion Strong Bond I
Report an issue