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Wanderlust90
4,293 M Seeking Light 5
PathStep 102 Compassion hearts59 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2022 Member sinceSeptember 21, 2015
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Health Issue triggers depression and school problem.
Depression Support / by Wanderlust90
Last post
 February 21st, 2016
...See more Hello! I've been on this website about a year ago but didn't really use it until recently. I'll give you guys some back story and please give advice if you can, I think there are people from all walks of life who could help me. I also want to say that I take full responsibility for everything that is happening in my life, believe me I feel like garbage. Anyways, I started off my college career attending community college, I did great in my classes and had a 3.7 GPA before I transferred to my current university. Soon after transferring I began having (extremely embarrassing) digestive issues which include, serious gas, diarrhea, my stomach growling very loudly, and my intestines making noises (that sounds like flatulence) so loud that the entire lecture hall could hear it. One of the worst days was when I was taking an exam in Chemistry and my stomach/intestines made flatulence noises for the entire 2 hour period that I sat the exam. People were looking around asking "who is that" and people were laughing. Needless to say, I stopped attending that class. I started seeing a therapist and doctor because the problem was so bad. My doctor ran tests, which all came back negative (which frustrates me because I would've loved to be diagnosed with something that could be treated) and she told me that my symptoms were connected to IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). Unfortunately, from everything i've read there isn't an actual "cure" for IBS, mainly you change your diet and there may be some symptoms that can be treated with some medications but that's really it. I cut processed foods out of my diet and began exercising and drinking plenty of water, regardless of my what i've changed I still have problems with gas and diarrhea and have had other moments where i've had to leave lecture because everything is so uncomfortable. I have noticed that my problems aren't present when i'm not around people, when i'm in a public place my issues flare up, i've realized this is due to social anxiety. So, I began taking an anti-depressent and anxiety medication, these have helped some but still haven't eliminated the problem and I still feel anxious around people. I also signed up with the school's Disability Service Center, some of the students would snicker at me and probably knew about my infamous "farting problem". I would walk around campus after that class incident and have people say "there's that girl" or "it's her", it was extremely embarrassing. It gets worse though. This past year I stopped attending lectures due to my increasingly bad depression,anxiety, IBS and remained enrolled to stay on my parents' health insurance plan, well everything is coming back to bite me in the a*s. Of course, I received a letter that I had been suspended from university due to poor academic progress and now will lose my health insurance (my parents say i'm covered until the end of the year). A year ago I was certain that I would take my own life, but now I want to live. And, i've created an absolute mess for myself. My therapist is extremely judgemental and i'm kind of glad that I won't have to see her anymore and hopefully I can go to a non-profit organization for help. My main concern though is graduating. I was only 4 classes short of receiving my Bachelor's and now I feel like i'll never be able to go back. I do plan on attending community college and getting my grades back up so that I can TRY to transfer back. Is there anyone who has dealt with similar problems? Like, not doing well in school, health issues (mental or physical) getting in the way, etc. Does anyone work in a university and talk? I just need some type of advice because like I said before I want to live. I'm just a flurry of feelings. P.S. the university I was attending is a mid-level public university and isn't exactly widely known. P.P.S. Please find it in your hearts to be kind with your words. I know i've messed up badly.
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