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WiseCupcake22
62,161 M Confident Walk 8
PathStep 117 Compassion hearts1,156 Forum posts36 Forum upvotes49 Current upvotes49 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2024 Member sinceOctober 10, 2014
Recent forum posts
*Trigger Warning*: Stinging Burn
Self-Harm Recovery / by WiseCupcake22
Last post
May 28th, 2019
...See more When the thoughts take over There is nothing left to do It stays in my brain Until I get the cue Nothing will set me free Except for that burn I know it all too well My stomach doesn't churn It's always hard to hide And it stays on my mind It never goes away But it helps me unwind It's not healthy at all And it stings in the shower But in the end it works And it gives me that power It happens all too often But you'll hardly ever know Because I hide it all too well That it doesn't even show But if you look close enough And you take the time to see You'll realize that there's more Than the things you know of me My heart is constantly aching My head is always loud It isn't easy for me to live In this constant storm cloud So before you get freaked out And think that I'm insane Look a little closer You'll see all of my pain Maybe then you'll understand And you won't be as afraid To know there's simply no way out Other than the blade
Dealing With Past Memories
Trauma Support / by WiseCupcake22
Last post
May 17th, 2018
...See more Trauma is an extremely hard topic to think about and talk about. It can be hard to define what trauma is since everyone's experience is different and everyone's experience is valid. When I was younger, my mother did not necessarily have the best disciplining methods. I have never agreed with physical methods as a form of discipline. I know that there is a very fine line between what is deemed okay and what is not, but personally, I do not think it is ever okay to hit a child in order to teach a lesson. To me, all that shows is that when someone does something bad, it is okay to use violence to punish them. And that is not right at all. It's so hard for me to talk about this because my parents have done a lot for me. They may not be there for me emotionally like I really need them to, but they have have been there for me physically. They may deny me therapy and not give me the emotional support that I need, but they have bought always me what I needed, taken me where I have wanted to go, fed me, given me a home to live in and raised me. But for some reason, I cannot seem to let go of the fact that my mom used to hit me when we were younger and would do something wrong. It was to the point where it would leave a red stinging mark on my cheek when I would something as simple as spill a glass of a milk by accident like any other five years old. I still have vivid memories of these repetitive incidents which occurred plenty of times. I just cannot seem to let go of this. And every time something happens between my mother and me, I go back to these memories and it just unfolds a chain of negative and intrusive thoughts. I just cannot stop thinking about all the incidents when we were a child where she would hit us. The worst part is that to this day, she will joke about how she used to do that as if it's funny. I don't know if that is her way of coping with what she did, but I do not find any humor in the situation and in fact, it has and continues to cause me a great deal of emotional pain. I don't know what this would be considered...trauma? abuse? It's hard for me to see because it almost feels like it needs to be bigger and worse for it to be valid. I know that is not the case though. I just tend to struggle with this because I know that a lot of people have it so much worse. @rain45
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