Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Xaphier
92 M Embraced
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2023 Member sinceNovember 28, 2023
Bio
Recent forum posts
Xaphier profile picture
Unknown
Depression Support / by Xaphier
Last post
 November 29th, 2023
...See more I'm not entirely sure what I'm expecting out of this but I guess trying can't hurt. I suppose I'll just lay everything out and see what comes of it. I suffer from anxiety and depression, I'm a type 1 diabetic and I'm sure there's plenty of other issues I have that are undiagnosed. I turn 40 next year and I feel like I've been a failure all of my life. On the outside it looks like I have everything going for me. I have a wonderful wife, 2 awesome daughters, good house in a nice community, etc. But I feel like I'm falling apart more and more every day. If it wasn't for my wife I would probably still be stuck in my last marriage not doing a damn thing with my life. But now I'm still stuck at a dead end job because I can't get my act together and become a manager or make more money elsewhere. Anything nice I have in my life is because of my current wife. I can't say enough amazing things about her. She busts her *** every day and refuses to quit until she gets what she wants. And the most amazing thing about her? She's battling an incurable cancer, multiple myeloma. She was diagnosed 3 days before we got married. She was next in line to become a store manager and make a lot of money but had to leave her job and take disability. We also don't know how much longer she has before the cancer comes back. I was in a management position when I met her but didn't last long due to the overwhelming stress. I took a job closer to home to help support her and the kids. I've never made much money and I constantly struggle to support my family. We live with my in-laws so we can afford to live in a good neighborhood with a good school for our daughter's. Now, even with the cancer, my wife does side jobs to make extra money. We've racked up a lot of debt over the years and it's hard to even cover the interest. To top it off, we're both still young but all the stress, medication and work has killed my wife's sex drive and I just feel so alone some days. I feel like no matter what I do or where I look, I'm failing. I'm sure there's more but this pretty much sums things up. I don't know what will come from this but here it is.
Search more from @Xaphier
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
5 total badges
Hand Shake Linked First Post Reaching out First Compassion
Report an issue