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aacharmon
1,027 M Little Steps 2
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts96 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceApril 12, 2024
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Navigating through (another) breakup
Relationship Stress / by aacharmon
Last post
 April 15th, 2024
...See more These past couple of years have been such a roller coaster of emotions for me. I keep finding myself in the same situation: meeting someone who seems like everything I’ve been looking for, feeling happy and like myself again, only for them to break up with me. Then, I feel miserable and alone until I meet someone new, and the cycle starts over. It’s happened three times already, with three people who were all very similar and all made me feel super safe, supported, and loved. However, for various reasons, it just never worked out.I'm tired of starting over, but I know it’s a necessary step in the process of finding the right person for me. It's comforting to know that after every breakup, I thought, "I’ll never find someone again," but I have, and I will. It’s just the thought of going through this pain again that's scary and hard, especially because of how short the relationships last. This last one lasted six months, but the other two were only three. It feels like I keep catching glimpses of the partner I want but can't seem to keep them.It's frustrating because each ending was never my fault: one person moved, another wanted different things, and this last one just saw me as a friend. I'm just sick of going on this healing journey and working on myself when all I want is to be in the next stage of my life, navigating a healthy relationship. It feels like I’m never going to get there, especially when I keep hitting the same roadblocks year after year.I find myself exactly where I was four years ago, and it’s scary to think I'll be right back here in another four. I don’t want that. I want to be able to think, "At least in five years, I will be with my person," but it doesn’t work like that. I might be stuck in this cycle forever, and that’s terrifying to think about.I want some reassurance that I WILL get to be in a relationship I want and know I deserve. I want to know I WILL get married someday for sure, and then I can fully enjoy being alone now.
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