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abdulbasith
1,029 M Little Steps 2
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2022 Member sinceDecember 24, 2021
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Post breakup
Relationship Stress / by abdulbasith
Last post
 January 9th, 2022
...See more I am going to share my story here. I am going through a hard breakup with my girlfriend whom I have known for more than 12 years since high school. We met again 3 years ago and fell crazily in love. We were perfect for each other and we did some crazy things people normally wouldn't dare to do. I was so happy with her. Yet it reached a point that if were to get together we had to marry against our parents since we are from different religion. So we decided that we should get a good career for ourselves and plan our marriages later when our parents could see us for how matured we are. So we decided to pursue higher education in France. We left India, we came to France, got a master's degree, fought COVID andoney issues but still managed to take care of each other. We were a dynamic couple. Everything was so good. After some tough period because of COVID we eventually got jobs and everything was going good. But we received a news from India that her father had passed away and she had to return back to India to see her father. She didn't even see him, he passed away before she could see him. She went into a very bad depression. She gave up on life. I kept supporting her through everything and waited patiently in France for her to comeback. But through this grief and mourning period she decided to let go of me because she thought there was no point in continuing this relationship as it wouldn't lead to marriage. So she gave up on the relationship and call it quits. She eventually came back to France and needed my support as it was hard for her with her father's death. I supported her however I could. But she was very sure and strict that she wasn't going to entertain or rekindle our relationship. It was a very hard time for me. I loved her so much and I took care of her with a pure heart. But I still had to put away all of my feelings away as I understood this wasn't the time for it. But even after all of that, she never really wanted our relationship to continue. Fair enough. I respected that. But she also didn't like losing out on me and she went on to have a hard breakup where in she would try to meet other people and also advised me to do the same, like the breakup wasn't hard enough. I couldn't move on from her. I didn't have the heart in me to do it. But she's ready and willing to meet other people and move on from me. She has decided that hard way is the right way to go. Again, fair enough. But I can't let her go like this and be alright. I don't want to meet other people and I don't want move on because this is such a special girl. Even if the marriage isn't going to happen or even if the relationship is headed towards failure, I still respect her and admire her. I am deeply affected by the fact that someone else is going to be in my place and it's traumatizing me. But I'm learning each day and learning to let go. I just don't understand how to come back to my normal self and I don't understand if there's a way to stop any of this from happening as I still like and love her. I can't let things happen in life without any control nor do I want to get into a victim mindset. Moving on is too hard, because I still love her. Getting out and meeting other people is hard because I am trying to find a way to fix her. But letting her go is the most painful because she is going through a trauma. I don't know what to make of this situation and I don't understand my role.
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