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adviceplz27
1 94 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2022 Member sinceJuly 16, 2022
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Do I Stop Seeing My (Hopefully) Former Abuser?
Trauma Support / by adviceplz27
Last post
 July 18th, 2022
...See more So, to put it shortly, I was a victim of verbal abuse, emotional abuse, emotional neglect, physical neglect, and threatened physical abuse (which my brother actually experienced). The thing is, my father was not the main perpetrator, but he did chime in, and this was apparently only because he was being abused and manipulated by his now ex girlfriend, a.k.a. the main perpetrator. He went from shunning me and calling me a bitch to "unconditionally" loving me, but it still feels like his love for me is dependent on whoever he's dating, and I just can't see the change he's supposedly made. I feel obligated to forgive him because it seems to be a thing of the past, but at the same time, I'm not willing to just act like that shit never happened, you know? If I could stop seeing him (my parents are divorced and my mother has custody on weekdays, while he has us on weekends) I would. I don't even have to think that much about it, but it's not just him I would be leaving. I have good relationships with his current wife and her son, and I don't really want to leave them. Though, if I'm being honest, I would've rather left during the trauma than stick it out just for them. Nothing will ever be worth the abuse. Concerning the present, I don't know if I should burn the bridge(s) so I don't have to deal with constantly seeing my former? abuser, or stay and just suck it up. For context, I have almost 3 years left before I can move out.
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Do I Burn It?
Trauma Support / by adviceplz27
Last post
 July 16th, 2022
...See more So, to put it shortly, I was a victim of verbal abuse, emotional abuse, emotional neglect, physical neglect, and threatened physical (which my brother actually experienced). The thing is, my father was not the main perpetrator, but he did chime in, and this was apparently only because he was being abused and manipulated by his now ex girlfriend, a.k.a. the main perpetrator. He went from shunning me and calling me a bitch to "unconditionally" loving me, but it still feels like his love for me is dependent on whoever he's dating, and I just can't see the change he's supposedly made. I feel obligated to forgive him because it seems to be a thing of the past, but at the same time, I'm not willing to just act like that shit ever happened, you know? If I could stop seeing him (my parents are divorced and my mother has custody on weekdays, while he has us on weekends) I would. I don't even have to think that much about it, but it's not just him I would be leaving. I have good relationships with his current wife and her son, and I don't really want to leave them. Though, if I'm being honest, I would've rather left during the trauma than stick it out just for them. Nothing will ever be worth the abuse. Concerning the present, I don't know if I should burn the bridge(s) so I don't have to deal with constantly seeing my former? abuser, or stay and just suck it up. For context, I have almost 3 years left before I can move out.
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