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affableSummer6313
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2021 Member sinceAugust 31, 2021
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Relationship and marriage issue
Relationship Stress / by affableSummer6313
Last post
 September 5th, 2021
...See more hope you are doing well.posting my feelings so that you would help. I am married recently. we saw each other's profile in a marriage site and we liked it. talked to each other and we asked for parents permission and they are fine with that. got married very soon even before we get to know each other very well. he told me tat he met with a minor accident on 2017 and completely recovered now. just taking medication for insomnia. and not to worry much about it. and told me tat he was a social drinker and he never smokes. I liked tat he was very transparent and honest with me. I was fine with that and he promised me tat he will quit if I am against it and he would do anything for me. just a week passed after marriage. his behaviour was very aggressive. he started to act suspicious and doubted me whenever I take my mobile or when I get office calls.he was very outrageous even for little things. if I don't go out with him when he calls me, he shouts like anything. he cannot accept or used to any rejection or any disapproval. if he wants anything to get done, it has to get done right away. Or he will do it anyhow. his anger was not acceptable and not normal. no one should raise voice against him(,including his mother, he doesn't have father) he would break things at home, . he was so threatening, verbal abusive .was shouting at his mom and me. made me characterless just bcz I was attending office calls. he would never give my mobile to me. he was smoking and became alcoholic. had to drink twice in a week or he would start a new argument and Blame me one or the other way to drink on that day. and he never apologized. his mother told me tat he is being like this for 4years I told to my parents, and they asked him all about this. he made me to pack all things and dropped me at home and left me that he would never need me and he wanted to marry another girl. all this happened just bcz I told him tat I cannot come out with him and I feel tired.. he was not ready to accept tat I refused to go out. it's been only one month since we got married and he left me at home more than twice for no reason. He would cme back the other day, apologize and make me cme back with him. he even shouted at my parents and blamed them for my upbringing which they couldn't tolerate. Then he went overboard one day. he started breaking doors , hitting his hand against wall and etc. thn I figured out that he was diagnosed with TBI tramauric brain injury with all his medical reports for past 4years.then we consulted psychiatrist and luckily he cooperated for treatments. but still he was very aggressive and he told me tat he could realise wat he is doing. he is having negative thoughts, insecurities, inferiority complex, he really would like to keep me happy but couldn't help with that. then we all discussed together as a family and sent him to rehabilitation centre now. he has to be there for 3months at least. . My question is, all the ppl from his side are asking me to wait and definitely he would return back well. but no one told about his mental illness before marriage . all we know was he had net with a minor accident and nothing to be worried.. my parents are fine with whatever I decide. we are a family of 3.and we care a lot for each other. me, my mom and dad. we are living like a beautiful Cuckoos in a lovely nest . I always wanted my husband to take care of my elderly parents like a son (not financially). and I wanted them to be happy. His family talks about his well being and asking me to live with him again and no one cared about my mental health, the way I struggled to do my office work. and how a newly wed girl dream would be. and nothing got done. and we did not had any physical relationship as well. no intercourse happened . neither of us were ready at all. and I was mentally very much affected bcz I couldn't believe tat my life is going in such a way. no single symptoms he showed before marriage, during engagement and even on wedding day and acted so well I feel.. I have already decided and did a very big mistake. not sure is it really worth waiting, getting him changed , to play a role of buddha, and to be with him or have to move on. and coming to his good sides, he really likes me but couldn't help with his aggressiveness due to illness. there were times he supported me, talks for me with his mother. he never allowed his mom to shout at me. but when we was aggressive, he really would blame me and wanted everyone to turn against me. he is like a two different person. very male chauvinistic. which I never faced in my life. bcz my father is such a sweet man I ever know . we went and saw him in cctv today on rehab. talked to the doctors and mentors. he wanted to convey to me tat he is really regretting and he is cooperating with treatments and really wanted to come back as a better person and to keep me happy. but I feel tat might be again a drama and no men would hurt a women at any cost.Either he or his family trying to cover up his real temperament in the name of mental illness may be. I'm kinda relaxed and happy now since he is not around .. not sure if I need to be happy like this as tat was nothing less than a domestic violence or to give him a chance considering that it was his mental illness as everyone in his family is claiming. Whats your thought🙏🙏🙏🙏
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Relationship issues
7 Cups Online Therapy / by affableSummer6313
Last post
 September 1st, 2021
...See more hope you are doing well. I know you would be busy yet posting my feelings so that you would help. I am married recently. we saw each other's profile in a marriage site and we liked it. talked to each other and we asked for parents permission and they are fine with that. got married very soon even before we get to know each other very well. he told me tat he met with a minor accident on 2017 and completely recovered now. just taking medication for insomnia. and not to worry much about it. and told me tat he was a social drinker and he never smokes. I liked tat he was very transparent and honest with me. I was fine with that and he promised me tat he will quit if I am against it and he would do anything for me. just a week passed after marriage. his behaviour was very aggressive. he started to act suspicious and doubted me whenever I take my mobile or when I get office calls.he was very outrageous even for little things. if I don't go out with him when he calls me, he shouts like anything. he cannot accept or used to any rejection or any disapproval. if he wants anything to get done, it has to get done right away. Or he will do it anyhow. his anger was not acceptable and not normal. no one should raise voice against him(,including his mother, he doesn't have father) he would break things at home, . he was so threatening, verbal abusive .was shouting at his mom and me. made me characterless just bcz I was attending office calls. he would never give my mobile to me. he was smoking and became alcoholic. had to drink twice in a week or he would start a new argument and Blame me one or the other way to drink on that day. and he never apologized. his mother told me tat he is being like this for 4years I told to my parents, and they asked him all about this. he made me to pack all things and dropped me at home and left me that he would never need me and he wanted to marry another girl. all this happened just bcz I told him tat I cannot come out with him and I feel tired.. he was not ready to accept tat I refused to go out. it's been only one month since we got married and he left me at home more than twice for no reason. He would cme back the other day, apologize and make me cme back with him. he even shouted at my parents and blamed them for my upbringing which they couldn't tolerate. Then he went overboard one day. he started breaking doors , hitting his hand against wall and etc. thn I figured out that he was diagnosed with TBI tramauric brain injury with all his medical reports for past 4years.then we consulted psychiatrist and luckily he cooperated for treatments. but still he was very aggressive and he told me tat he could realise wat he is doing. he is having negative thoughts, insecurities, inferiority complex, he really would like to keep me happy but couldn't help with that. then we all discussed together as a family and sent him to rehabilitation centre now. he has to be there for 3months at least. . My question is, all the ppl from his side are asking me to wait and definitely he would return back well. but no one told about his mental illness before marriage . all we know was he had net with a minor accident and nothing to be worried.. my parents are fine with whatever I decide. we are a family of 3.and we care a lot for each other. me, my mom and dad. we are living like a beautiful Cuckoos in a lovely nest . I always wanted my husband to take care of my elderly parents like a son (not financially). and I wanted them to be happy. His family talks about his well being and asking me to live with him again and no one cared about my mental health, the way I struggled to do my office work. and how a newly wed girl dream would be. and nothing got done. and we did not had any physical relationship as well. no intercourse happened . neither of us were ready at all. and I was mentally very much affected bcz I couldn't believe tat my life is going in such a way. no single symptoms he showed before marriage, during engagement and even on wedding day and acted so well I feel.. I have already decided and did a very big mistake. not sure is it really worth waiting, getting him changed , to play a role of buddha, and to be with him or have to move on. and coming to his good sides, he really likes me but couldn't help with his aggressiveness due to illness. there were times he supported me, talks for me with his mother. he never allowed his mom to shout at me. but when we was aggressive, he really would blame me and wanted everyone to turn against me. he is like a two different person. very male chauvinistic. which I never faced in my life. bcz my father is such a sweet man I ever know . we went and saw him in cctv today on rehab. talked to the doctors and mentors. he wanted to convey to me tat he is really regretting and he is cooperating with treatments and really wanted to come back as a better person and to keep me happy. but I feel tat might be again a drama and no men would hurt a women at any cost.Either he or his family trying to cover up his real temperament in the name of mental illness may be. I'm kinda relaxed and happy now since he is not around .. not sure if I need to be happy like this as tat was nothing less than a domestic violence or to give him a chance considering that it was his mental illness as everyone in his family is claiming. Whats your thought🙏🙏🙏🙏
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