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akalatheory
1 90 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2020 Member sinceFebruary 17, 2019
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Did I miss something when I got married?
Relationship Stress / by akalatheory
Last post
 March 9th, 2019
...See more My husband and I have been married since 2010, been together five years prior to that. Ive spent the vast majority of my time with him, Id say maybe 99% of every single day. Ive had countless friendships and other relationships destroyed because he gets so jealous and upset whenever I want to spend any time away from him at all. Even if its with a member of the same sex. My childhood best friend hasnt even hardly talked to me since he and I got together. Ive come to realize ive slowly become isolated from friends and family. He started by wanting me to stop talking to my mother, grandmother, aunt, biological father, and it hasnt stopped there. He has all these friends he talks to online or over the phone, and thats ok for him regardless of whether its same sex friends or opposite sex friends. I havent even been able to keep online friends because every time I do, he gets angry and jealous and starts saying things like Just run off and marry them then. Whenever Im away from him he starts blowing up my phone. I was just informed yesterday that he wants us to have mutual friends which means only people he approves basically, which are his current social circle. But if I start talking to these people, he starts his crap all over again. So then he changed it and said that it was ok if I have same sex friends only, unless they predate our relationship, then its ok to have opposite sex friends and only if he meets them. Ok well, I had to stop talking to all of the friends I had regardless that predated our relationship, and now I feel like I cant make any friends at all. Did I miss a memo somewhere? I feel like Im trapped in a house with only him and I can only do stuff with him. If I do something with anyone else at all, he gets angry and starts spouting things at me the moment I get back regardless of whether he knows these people or not. Is this what a marriage is? Is there something Im missing? I left him for a short bit in 2015, and it took me a long while to start to realize I can actually go out of the house and do stuff. It was excellent, its like I was free from chains and cages.
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