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alioth2807
1 389 M Embraced 3
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2026 Member sinceOctober 11, 2022
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a boarding school student

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something's wrong with me but I don't know what's wrong
Journals & Diaries / by alioth2807
Last post
 October 19th, 2022
...See more Something's terribly wrong with me but I just don't know what. I;ve been struggling with it since I was eleven and I was handling it well until I reached the age of 13, which is also the same time I started to study in a boarding school. I cannot sit still. Literally can't. Before this I could control it and handle it, but it's been going haywire. One time when the electricity in our dormitories just broke down, we had to sit in the food hall and we were cramped like sardines. I started to panic after a while and scratched myself everywhere. I even started to cry. I'm not claustrophobic, I'm actually afraid of big wide spaces, but during that time scared the hell out of me. When we were finally able to get out of the food hall, I was overwhelmed with relief. After that incident, more stuff came up. I couldn't sleep sometimes cause my legs would feel out of place or what I usually call it "hyper". It's like there's energy flowing through my body but I was unbearably tired everyday (boarding school life etc etc etc). One time I broke down because I couldn't sleep at all two nights in a row because of how hyper I was. I didn't know why, and I can't control it. It comes and goes and the only way to tire myself out is just, stay awake. I have to be extremely tired (basically at the point I just passed out) then I'll be able to sleep. I tend to be very very clumsy. and I always forget things. One point I'm talking and if I stopped for a second I can't remember what I was saying before. It annoyed a lot of people because I kept asking "what did I say again?". It's more frequent these days too. I can also go from hyperactive to being absolutely dead. People said it was just my mood swings but then again I don't think it's that critical. I just don't know what to do. Can someone enlighten me with something?
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