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alittlebook
1 185 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes20 Current upvotes20 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2022 Member sinceJanuary 5, 2022
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Be Like Mice
Trauma Support / by alittlebook
Last post
 January 6th, 2022
...See more I always have a pair of mice as pets. They’re so fun and cute and have such big personalities, despite being such small creatures. I’ve probably had a dozen mice, and they all have been unique individuals. I like to watch them during their active hours. They’re so funny, the way they play and interact with each other. Right now one of my mice, Nugget, is really sweet and messy with her food, and Biscuit is timid and has a bit of OCD (each piece of fluff has a place and needs to be in its place!). They have two wheels, and each of them has a favorite (although sometimes they run together on Nugget’s wheel). Observing them makes my spirit feel lighter. They just live their lives, enjoy each other’s company, snuggle together, and have fun playing. I want to be more like a mouse. Just living life, enjoying one another, and having fun. Less worries. Living in the present. Enjoying the here and now. Not worrying about yesterday or tomorrow. My mice live better than I do. And I learn from them. (Side note: Mice make great pets! They’re easy to care for, inexpensive, and typically friendly. But do keep them in pairs because otherwise they’ll be lonely and less healthy.)
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His Voice
Trauma Support / by alittlebook
Last post
 January 7th, 2022
...See more My traumatic memories and the issues they have brought about are still very fresh because it was recent. I’ve found myself struggling to even consider myself a victim of abuse, even though he was probably moments away from killing me multiple times. I think that’s because his voice is so engrained in my mind. I know what he’d think and say if I verbalized that in front of him. After all, he always told me that I drove him to it. The blame was always on me, even though I wore the bruises and burns on my skin. It’s like his voice has become engrained in me, and it makes it difficult to accept that he did abuse and victimize me and that it wasn’t my fault. As a result, I’m very torn.
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Bedtime
Trauma Support / by alittlebook
Last post
 February 11th, 2022
...See more Does anyone have certain things, whether they’re coping skills or a simple routine, that helps you calm down in order to be able to fall asleep? I’ll put off sleeping until daylight because I am most likely to have flashbacks and panic attacks when I’m attempting to sleep. Do any of you struggle with this? I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas.
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Introduction
Trauma Support / by alittlebook
Last post
 January 6th, 2022
...See more Hello, I’m new to this group (and to this site in general). My therapist recommended it to me today when I asked her about joining some sort of support group for what I’m currently going through because it helped her at one point. I shared a very condensed version of my story in the “Journaling Stories” section, so I won’t recap it all here. But in short, I’m trying to deal with having been in a very abusive and dangerous relationship. With someone who I am still very much emotionally attached to but forcibly separated from. I do have a few questions, as I want to follow the guidelines and not overstep any boundaries. How much are we allowed to share? Are triggering details supposed to be left out? Can we include triggering details if there is a trigger warning in the title? Can we curse? Thank you! -Jen
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Black and Blue (poetry)
Trauma Support / by alittlebook
Last post
 January 7th, 2022
...See more I sit in silence as my thoughts strive to form Vibrant colors - bright yellow, burnt orange, a blaze of red A distant memory, perhaps, of something quite warm Colors of the sun; something much like an old friend Then I’m hit with the force of a sudden gust so strong The warmth I once felt eludes me in this dark place A steely blue and deep black; it’s all wrong How can I get back to that warm, soothing space Now I am drowning in the blue and the black My shallow breath escapes me Please, I beg, let me find my way back Please, I beg, I cannot breathe I miss the warmth - the passionate red, orange, and yellow As I yearn for what is no longer mine My heavy heart overflows with sorrow While I wish I could fall back in unforgiving time The black and the blue are stronger than me I plead to no one as I run out of air I am trapped in a cold place that I alone can see I’ve been plunged into more than my soul can bear I’m thrashing and gasping for another small breath But my paper heart is wearing thin The surrounding black and blue seek only death I am a walking ghost of the places I have been
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The Pit
Trauma Support / by alittlebook
Last post
 January 6th, 2022
...See more I’ve been dealing with the outcome of an abusive relationship. I have a lot of mental health background, having had anorexia, borderline personality disorder, etc. I’m not new to trauma. But this in particular is new to me. I love my boyfriend very much. We lived together for a year. We planned on spending our lives together and having kids. Over time he became increasingly controlling, manipulative, and abusive physically and emotionally. One night towards the end of October (so right before all of the holidays), a neighbor called the police, and he was arrested. Now he’s facing a felony charge and multiple misdemeanors. I’m angry that someone called the police. It wasn’t any of their business. The abuse had become part of my life, and I had accepted that. I could handle it. What I can’t handle is losing my boyfriend, my dog, my home, and my best friend. I had to move in with my parents in order for him to be released. And now there’s a government mandated no contact order in place, so I haven’t even been able to talk with him since that night. I can’t understand why I want to go back to someone who might kill me. Or how I can be so in love with someone who is capable of actually torturing me. But that’s where I’m at. I feel as though I lost myself somewhere along the way. I have no sense of self or identity. I spend a lot of time dissociated. It is by far the darkest point in my life thus far. I guess I’m looking for a community where people can understand and relate on a certain level. I don’t know anyone who’s been through anything like this. Thanks for listening.
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