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almostmaybe4ever
1 75 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2021 Member sinceJune 21, 2021
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Dating with depression?
Relationship Stress / by almostmaybe4ever
Last post
June 26th, 2021
...See more I’ve [21F] found someone [22M] I really like that likes me too, but things have been stagnant. We’re in the talking stage (have been for three months) but both of us are confused about taking it further. He has a number of mental health stuff going on and has told me he suffers from Depression, Insomnia, Anxiety and PTSD. All of this happened before we met and started talking but from what I know it’s been rough. Recently he pulled away a for a week and we weren’t in contact and I ended up becoming really upset and confused about how he felt, and thought he lost interest etc. it basically brought up a lot of insecurities for me. After the week he apologised for being distant and confessed that he wasn’t sure what to do with lots of things, in his life, with relationships, University etc. We had a long talk and he said he’d like to get help (like therapy) because he’d like us to work but we haven’t discussed the logistics of it and I’m really scared that we’ll hurt each other if we do this and I never really realised how much his depression and anxiety etc could impact us. The thing is we’re not even officially dating and we haven’t even hung out yet in person but three months in and we can’t even commit to making time to see each other. I’m a natural overthinker and analyser and I’m scared my desire to see him or spend time with him or asking him to contact me or vice versa will make him resent me when he’s low and needs to distance himself. I don’t want him to contact me if he doesn’t want to but I also don’t know how I’ll deal with it if we get serious. I don’t want to burden him or end up making him feel guilty when I feel like my needs aren’t being met and I don’t to feel like a chore to him or add to any stress on his plate or even overcare for him in ways that aren’t good for him. Is it even a good idea to try a relationship or dating at this stage? Should he try working on his mental health while I work on my insecurities so if we come back and still like each other we can have a better chance? The idea of letting go hurts so much when we both like each other but I don’t know what to do. I want to also be his friend but I don’t know if that would help since I’ll still want to support him like a partner or girlfriend would and that means we aren’t really giving each other space and we’ll always be holding onto this potential relationship that might not ever happen.
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