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amiableKitten6944
135 M Embraced 1
PathStep 19 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2021 Member sinceDecember 17, 2021
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Estranged from daughter and granddaughter
35 & Over Community / by amiableKitten6944
Last post
 August 19th, 2023
...See more I’m 43 y/o grandmother to a 2 1/2 month old girl. My daughter became pregnant at 19 and the father is not involved. I was disappointed initially but as expected, I became very involved once I processed the pregnancy. I went to every dr appt, was in the delivery room for the birth and my daughter and granddaughter lived with me. Three weeks ago, my daughter began acting odd, was leaving me with the baby to go out, not returning home at times, nor calling to check on baby. I learned she was smoking pot (which I’m not opposed to but in this instance it’s inappropriate), getting high and driving with the baby. She had been seeing a new guy who has since been arrested for drug offenses. She was having sex before she even got birth control implant after delivery. I admittedly flew off the handle because of her safety and the baby’s safety. I had to resort back to her younger teenage years and put rules for my home in place. They were not unreasonable- if she had plans to go out, she would need to ask me to babysit instead of assume I would do it. There would be no dating until birth control was implanted. The chores that she used to help with had been neglected recently so she was instructed to resume those (she has not returned to work or school). She was irate and dramatic and told me to “take the baby and keep her because I can’t handle this”. I did for 2 days while she lay in bed pouting. She suddenly decided to leave with the baby and text me some horrible messages, things she never would have said to me directly, and it hurt but I thought she would realize running the streets with a newborn was not ideal. Instead of returning home, she and the baby have moved in with her paternal grandparents, who she has had no relationship with as the grandfather sexually molested her and the grandparents kidnapped all three of my children in their childhood. I spent 15 years in and out of court trying to keep them away from my children. I believe she has done this to hurt me, knowing it would tear my heart out to go without them while they are staying with people that don’t even know either of them. She has let me get the baby once since they left. We had planned for the baby to stay with me this weekend and now my daughter won’t answer calls or text messages at all. I remember how painful it was when my children were kidnapped and I was helpless until the law intervened. Somehow, it’s almost worse not seeing my granddaughter nor hearing from them. I don’t know if I should let it go and wish the best for them, or if I should persist. I can’t endure the mixed messages (you can keep the baby; never mind you cannot keep her) and I believe my daughter is going to put me through that forever if I try to keep them in my life.
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