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amicableCucumber17
4,056 M Seeking Light 4
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts92 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2022 Member sinceDecember 4, 2014
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Having kids?
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by amicableCucumber17
Last post
 January 30th, 2022
...See more I recently came out and it was very freeing for me, I felt like I finally figured out this big part about myself and what I wanted in life. But having a family with children has always been something I wanted and I feel now that the image I have in my head about what I’ve always wanted is challenged…having biological children with my partner in that traditional sense isn’t possible and even though I try not to be, because I’m so happy with who I am, it does make me sad to think about it... The adoption process in my country is very complicated and while I’m sure I could love an adopted child very much, it is for some reason saddening for me to know that I won’t see any of the genetic traits of myself or my partner in my child and in my close vicinity I’ve also heard of adoption stories that didn’t go well, the child feeling estranged from their parents or disconnected…I’m scared that might happen to me and that my child won’t love me or vice versa. On the other hand having a child through the help of a donor, makes me wonder too, how would things be like for that child? Wouldn’t I be putting them in a very difficult situation knowing that half of their genetic material comes from basically just a random person who might not even really be involved in their life? When they explain to friends or when they try to figure out who do are, doesn’t that make it hard on them? I know genetics isn’t everything and I’m not trying to sound uneducated or narrow minded…but due to the pandemic I didn’t actually get to make a lot of contact to queer people and discuss these questions or hear their thoughts. I just keep thinking about this far away scenario and try to find the “perfect” solution without really getting anywhere. It really triggers a lot of internalized homophobia for me and I don’t really know how to deal with it…anyone who wants to tell me their thoughts or how they figured things out for themselves I’d be really really grateful for!
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