andriussong Member Profile

...See more I recently bought a house and all I can feel is sad and tired and bitter if I'm not numb. It was a rough year trying to buy this house and I expected to be riding on cloud nine more. Finally taking a break from substances like weed. While it had helped I'm having a hard time getting off as if my brain is still screaming from the high stress that isn't there anymore. Everyone in the house is excited to do projects like gardening and beautifying the property. I have plans to start working out and working on a little orchard. I got books from my Grandma I want to read. I want to get back into music. I want my house to be in order. I can't do a damn thing. I can at least go to work so there's that. I've felt very disconnected from friends and family. I don't know how to move on if there's any other way outside of just getting up and doing what I've been wanting to do. Depression and a negative headspace are really high right now. I accomplished something big and I believe I'm useless. I've accomplished 3 big things in the past 12 months, something personal, a better job, and buying this house, and I believe I am useless. I know that's not true. Recovering from all the stress and unknowns has been difficult. I suppose I shouldn't expect everything to simply be hunky dory after all that. It's only been a bit over a week since that all ended. I guess I wasn't expecting the hard crash. I'm trying to get stuff off my chest and out of my head because saying and doing nothing isn't working.

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