Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
anxiousApricot
2,959 M Hopeful Heart 7
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts29 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2017 Member sinceApril 24, 2016
Bio
Recent forum posts
anxiousApricot profile picture
Politics for the non Political and How to Help
Around the World / by anxiousApricot
Last post
 January 16th, 2017
...See more Hi guys. This might end up being kind of ranty but it's something I've been thinking about since the election. The election to me felt like a big wakeup call. I don't want to spark discussion on the election or America's president elect. I'm aware that not everyone feels this way, but in my own view, the election was a big wakeup call for me. I'm not a very political person. Frankly, politics is very difficult for me to follow. And I always feel the burden of choice when I do understand a facet. I feel like if I get involved in one small part, I'm necessarily valuing that thing over other things, when maybe other things are way more important, but I just wasn't able to understand it to the same extent. So for a long time I stayed out of politics entirely. But after the election, although I still do not feel passionate or knowledgable on politics I do feel like I have an obligation to get involved. I'm a very privileged person in a lot of ways, but I don't currently have an income (with which to donate to charities), and I feel like my brain problems (learning disabilities + anxiety/depression and possibly undiagnosed attention problems or something) makes it very difficult for me to engage in politics or understand it. I feel frustrated with myself because I feel like I should be doing more, but I don't know what more I should be doing, or don't understand how to do it. I know there's protests, but I feel really uncomfortable at events like that both because of the crowds/loud noises but also because of feeling like an outsider in those communities. The last time I went to a protest the whole time I just felt like a fake activist for showing up even though I'm so rarely involved in politics. Besides that, it's so difficult for me to discern what protests are good and useful and what protests are totally useless. I've seen some videos of trump protests with people laughing and playing music and it just looked like a big party and I feel like protests like that would just make me feel uncomfortable. Then there's the controversial protests with people blocking traffic or rioting and honestly I really don't know whether those things are productive or not. (again, not trying to spark a debate on this; I've heard both sides of the argument and really don't know who's right) There's phone calls to my representative and congress and stuff, but my phone anxiety is bad and a lot of the time I don't really understand what we're supposed to be calling about. The last time I called the receptionist could even tell that I was reading a script and told me to just email them, which was a huge blow to my confidence in doing this... I can't really budget for charity since I don't have an income at this point. I can donate a little bit out of my savings, but not any real significant ammount... And even then it's so hard to know who to donate to. There's already too many organizations that I feel like I should be donating to for the small ammount I feel comfortable donating, and then there are issues that I feel like I should be donating to but don't know of any good organizations to donate to over it. Honestly I don't even know how to get educated? Like, what news sources are good to read and which are bad. I guess I mostly feel really frustrated because with all the privilege I have, getting involved politically still feels like an insurmountable task, especially while balancing getting my life in order and starting a carreer. Does anyone else have this dillema?
anxiousApricot profile picture
Avoidant Personality Disorder: is this a symptom?
Personality Disorders Support / by anxiousApricot
Last post
 November 14th, 2017
...See more So I see a lot of things about APD regarding social situations, fear of failure, etc. I experience these things to varying degrees, but a bigger problem for me than avoiding social situations is avoiding more pressing life issues. For instance, I once was so afraid that a cucumber in my vegetable drawer had gone bad (because I was avoiding throwing the cucumber away) that I didn't open either vegetable drawer for several months. I wouldn't buy more vegetables, because I knew that my vegetable drawers were full of vegetables. They were probably bad by now, but since I refused to open the drawers, they remained schrodinger's veggies. The result was that I didn't eat any vegetables for several months, and then I had a big mess of seriously gnarly rotting vegetables to deal with, which I eventually finally did once the rotting vegetable smell had seeped into every other item of food in the fridge. It's also a common pattern for me that when I fall behind at work I'll have a really hard time showing up to work or getting any work done from home, because the situation becomes so stressful (I have a markedly low-stress job, too) that my brain just refuses to let me think about work any longer than is immediately necessary. Obviously, these things are not normal. I'm curious if these are also part of APD, or if it might be related to something else. (depression and anxiety tentatively diagnosed, pondering whether I might have borderline or some other things as well but I've yet to bring that or the APD stuff up with my therapist)
anxiousApricot profile picture
18-35 Sexual issues, low libido, mild trauma, fed up with rape culture and angry at the whole world
General Support / by anxiousApricot
Last post
 May 12th, 2016
...See more I want someone I can talk to about the nitty gritty about my sexual dysfunction, mild rape trauma, and feminist issues about sex and the culture surrounding it and the toll it's taken on my relationship. I'm tired of feeling repelled by my own body. I want sex to feel safe again.
Search more from @anxiousApricot
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
15 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Super Active Chief Chat Strong Start Milestone Reconnect First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Bundled Group Chimer Strong Bond I
Report an issue