aquaCake1074 Member Profile

...See more I finally had the courage to one day 3 weeks ago at 5.30am to tell my now ex we was over, met him 3 years ago, totally love bombed and gaslighted me, I didn't no at the time he was a crack cocaine user, the first 2 years he lied, slept with 5 other woman( all on crack cocaine) and each time I believed he would change, he stole and sold my medication, stole money, again I kept thinking he cld change, he did go into a rehab facility in jan 24 and at that point I was done as he'd finally left the area I could try rebuild my life, he tried to contact me ,I'd reply saying I was at work etc, but after about month I thought maybe he is going to change, we talked for hours every night and all the love I had for him at the beginning came bk, I went to see him in the March and it was like looking at a new man. I told my family they I wanted us to be together again and in June he came to live at mine with me and my daughter. He was clean , swore to me, my kids, my mum he would never touch drugs or alcohol again, then in the Aug he was taking 1800mg of pregabalin a day and dyazepam, buying them off someone. He was coming home totally wasted from work or not coming right home, but he was still be really nice, he weened off them and was ok for few weeks, then went bk on them, he had stopped following the 12 step program etc, so he the sept I asked him to leave, my 13 year old daughter shouldn't have to be round that. He went bk to his wifes( getting a divorce) but that's where he always goes when he falls out with a gf. Yes it sounds mad!!! Anyway he begged to come home and said he was clean. Just smoking weed. He came bk and upto Xmas was fine, then I'm asking can he go half's on bills etc and food, he paid his half the rent, but no gas or food, I'm asking why can't you help he's saying he can't afford to eat, he works and gets about 500 a week, way more than I earn. Found out he's spending around 300 on weed and going to his cousins every night drinking etc. I knew i was done with this relationship, he had turned nasty, belittled me, I tried to talk and I would be laughed at saying I was overthinking, all the cuddling and kisses had stopped and he said it was all in my head. This is weird to say but he was a more loving and caring partner when he was using crack cocaine. I didn't think I'd ever be able to end things with this man, but I had nothing left to give, we have no contact but stupidly I text him, not sure why, wanting him to realise how horrible he had became, but he thinks the world owes him a favour, luckily he didn't respond as he will move on quickly as its all he nos what to do. I've been ok but today the anxiety has been terrible etc and I felt so alone and that's why I text him, but he will be sitting with whoever calling me crazy etc etc.....will I get over this

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