aquaSailboat8365 Member Profile

...See more I’m sorry if this is long or doesn’t make sense. Over the last week, I’ve been having some complex feelings over an incident that happened a few months ago. While I was sleeping, i woke up to a close friends hands in my pants I didn’t say anything. I just acted like I was moving around and hit my head, and then he stopped jerked away. I acted like I was still asleep. (I never said stop, but I never said it was OK does that matter??? I was asleep it’s confusing) I had never told anyone else about this because I convinced myself that it wasn’t that. I’m a guy also gay if that matters. Recently, I hung out with a guy and I think it made me realize what he had done. I thought for the longest time, especially after that, I just wasn’t a touchy person, wasn’t really into physical contact and stuff, it made me uncomfortable, but when I was with the guy it sorta clicked that I did like physical contact and I sorta spiraled. I think since he was a close friend (I’ve known him since I was 12) it couldn’t possibly be that (the guy is also suicidal, so maybe I just convinced myself that if I said anything he’d kill himself). I just feel like I’m being dramatic because it was months ago I’ve never planned to bring it up, and I really just wanted to pretend it didn’t happen, but I am having mental and physical problems that are effecting me over it. I feel like a coward because I didn’t do anything, and I feel like maybe I’m overreacting??

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