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aspiringstrawberry
132 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceMarch 16, 2021
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CSA/ SA Survivors: does it ever TRULY get better?
Trauma Support / by aspiringstrawberry
Last post
 April 19th, 2021
...See more I'm a 23 year old female having a mental breakdown after a typical gynecological appointment. I thought I really was doing so much better for the past year, I thought I was okay with it and even started opening my mind to the possibility of relationships. About 3 weeks ago I was goofing around with a friend and we were jokingly wrestling and they pinned me down to where my face was up against a pillow and I couldn't move or speak, and thats when sh*t hit the fan. I had a complete mental breakdown like I haven't had in YEARS. (I won't go into detail bc I don't want to trigger anyone but it wasn't good, I don't recognize who i was that night.) And my therapist changed practices and my insurance doesn't cover it, so talking to her is out of the question if I want to pay rent lol. Right now I'm just numb. My eyes burn but won't form tears, I keep dissociating and just staring blankly at the walls while intrusive thoughts cloud my mind. Does it really get better to the point where you feel normal? Can you just have relationships that aren't tainted with past horrors? I just feel so alone.
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