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astrolina
710 M Little Steps
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts38 Forum posts16 Forum upvotes23 Current upvotes23 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2024 Member sinceDecember 2, 2023
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I feel like I’m going crazy sometimes
Anxiety Support / by astrolina
Last post
 February 6th, 2024
...See more Some days like today I feel so anxious for entirely no reason. Maybe because I wasted a weekend doing nothing productive and not going to the gym either. Worried about family even though it’s nothing I can control. The only thing I can control rn is just cleaning my space.
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Buzzing around in my head
Depression Support / by astrolina
Last post
 January 10th, 2024
...See more I can remember the good times but I can never forget why things had to end. Short time or a long time you stay in my mind when the thoughts become still. When the rumination accidentally passes by you and the memories we had. Even if for a short while. I’m sick to my stomach and my head feels like it’s spinning. I cannot forget you even though I want to. If I call you right now would you pick up? Talk to me like we had no history that we had no business but just what each others voices? How was your day? Did you keep warm? Good to hear from you. 
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Some thoughts before bed
20 & Over / by astrolina
Last post
 December 18th, 2023
...See more I wonder often when laying in bed waiting for sleep is what I’m going to be in the future. What I’ll make of myself. The people I’ve known and those that I miss. How I had to cut some people off for my own health yet I still think of them & care about them. I know there’s still so much more to do and though I feel tired like I want to close my eyes forever - I’m not done yet.
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Struggling to keep liking things
Depression Support / by astrolina
Last post
 December 20th, 2023
...See more One thing about depression is the constant losing interest in things that spark joy in your life. Trying to reclaim my interests in the arts and recently gotten into boxing. But right now I lay here in bed wondering if I should even go to gym tonight even though I love it. this weight on my chest isn’t letting up. I think oh well always tomorrow I go only 3 days a week anyways. It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to lose interest in this too because I know it’s so easy to.
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Apathy
Depression Support / by astrolina
Last post
 December 9th, 2023
...See more I’ve been feeling a lot of it this year. A lot keeps breaking me over and over again. It’s gotten me to the point I feel so much apathy. I don’t care if my job will fire me someday. I don’t care if someone accuses me of something wrong. I don’t care if I’m going to have to move soon across state lines soon. it makes me sad to really think about. right now, the only way I’m actively coping is taking drives. My favorite places are these mountains near my apartment. City lights at night while the stars sparkle really bright up here since it gets so dark. It’s the only thing that’s moving me lately.
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Am I crazy?
20 & Over / by astrolina
Last post
 December 7th, 2023
...See more Hey everyone Currently 25 and these days I’ve started a journey of reflection and self discovery. Due to my mental illnesses, I’ve gotten myself into a lot of trouble over the years. When I psychoanalyze myself, I find one of my major red flags or worst behaviors is the need and want to be in a relationship. I’ve been in and out of relationships and even had a casual phase but I couldn’t help but notice something disturbing about myself throughout these times. I know and take full accountability for my actions and the way I’ve hurt others in these relationships even if they don’t. All of them were always toxic and I knew every time what I was getting myself into with people who were more unstable than I was/am. I think in some subconscious way I gravitated towards these types of people not just because we’ve been through some *** and can relate to each other but because of the power and control. in some way because they had it objectively worse than me it could’ve been like an ego thing or knowing I could have the upper hand. I know it sounds bad because it is. And I want to change that. I want to stop having the need or want control/power and be comfortable that I can’t control everything. If anyone out there has had to overcome something similar please let me know how you did it and what you had to do to be better?
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Hello
Newbie Hub / by astrolina
Last post
 December 8th, 2023
...See more Decided to join after feeling like I’ve been self isolating too long. The past 3 years have not been there best and I really would like to do better to take better care of my mental health after all the beatings I put myself through. I hope, I can only hope.
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“Will I see you again?”
Depression Support / by astrolina
Last post
 December 3rd, 2023
...See more I’ve been diagnosed with MDD for a few years now but according to my therapist I’ve had it pretty much my entire life. I remember being a young kid crying in the shower for reasons I can’t even explain why. I'm in a weird phase in my life where I’ve tried so many things and realizing my quick fixes aren’t working anymore and not helping. I feel like I’m running out of time even though I’m in my mid-20s. Like there’s been things I have of course been ignoring. Idk. I guess the need to always feel like I’m loved is a big one. But I *** that chance up not too long ago by self sabotaging. Not sure where to go from here but reminisce and listen to oldies. Thinking about what could’ve been.
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