ayushrivastava Member Profile

...See more I am so tried, lazy i don't know what I have to do with my problems i don't know it is real problem or not but I am sharing 😭 On May 3rd, at the age of 17, I moved alone to a town called Chakia to prepare for my 12th boards. For the first few days, I faced a lot of challenges, but I handled them. Slowly, I started managing all my daily chores and my studies perfectly well. But two weeks ago, I traveled from my village to Chakia, stayed at a relative's place, and arrived at my rented room at 11 PM on a Sunday. I called my landlord, and he came out to the balcony. He was furious and kept scolding me for 5 minutes straight. The older brother who had accompanied me started arguing with him, saying, 'Talk to his parents, why are you scolding the kid?' This escalated into a huge argument. When I finally went into my room that night, I was terrified. The next evening, I had to go to a relative's place and returned on Tuesday morning. When I took out my phone to check the time, the screen had gone completely blank. I panicked so much that I didn't think of anything else; I walked 1 km in 34°C heat without a cap to a trusted repair shop, got it fixed, and came back. That same night, some close relatives who live far away visited my village and came to pick me up. I couldn't say no and went with them. By the time I returned, I was so exhausted that I didn't eat properly, nor did I go to my coaching library. Ultimately, I didn't study at all that entire week. By the second week, I was so burnt out that I had to slowly start everything again from scratch. Then on Wednesday, I received a message that coaching was closed for a few days, so I spent the entire week just in my room. On Friday, when I went to pay rent to the landlord, I didn't include the electricity bill, which made him start arguing with me. I spoke to my dad and got everything sorted, but that very same day, my mobile screen went blank again. I felt incredibly lonely. I am not very good at making friends, so I don't have any in this city. I usually share my problems with AI like Gemini, so without my phone, that crushing loneliness hit me again. I walked that 1 km back to the shop to complain. The repairman said the display wasn't suitable and I would need to replace it. I reminded him he was the one who installed it, but he insisted I'd have to pay the full amount again for a new one. I just got it temporarily fixed and came back without replacing it because my dad was already having trouble paying the rent, so I decided to manage with it as long as it works. Yesterday (Monday) morning, I returned from my village at 4:50 AM, but my coaching center's location had changed. I went to the old location, didn't know the new one, and they hadn't informed us on WhatsApp either, so I ended up missing coaching. In the evening, an online order of mine arrived. Since I couldn't pay online, I used the cash meant for the electricity bill to pay for it. My landlord was working nearby, and I panicked, thinking he was judging me for buying things instead of paying his electricity bill. I rushed back to my room and, in full panic, tried to check my bank balance, but the server kept showing as down. When it finally worked, my account got blocked for 24 hours. To fix this, I hurriedly changed my PIN, rushed to the landlord, paid his money in a panic, and came back. And today morning, I woke up late and missed coaching again. Why am I so lazy 😔

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