azureKite3586 Member Profile

...See more Hey! I was just wondering if any other lesbians or anyone else, has had a similar experience to me/has some helpful input on my experience. So before coming out, when I was questioning, but still very much in denial, I had a boyfriend. We were both late teens/early adults at the time. He tried his best to be careful with physical boundaries, often relying on me to decide when something was not ok. However, I found it difficult to actually understand what my boundaries were because I honestly didn't feel anything ever (now I realize that's because I'm well... lesbian) so I never stopped him. We never had sex or anything, but I'm realizing after the fact, how close we'd come to it. I literally often had no clue that what was happening was so (forgive me, we're religious) dangerous for the two of us. I would just do whatever he wanted or suggested and assumed that as long as he felt fine, it was fine with me. It got to the point sometimes where he'd stop himself and tell me he was scared he'd gone too far, and I'd just be like "huh, didn't get that vibe but sure let's go home." Looking back on it, I'm realizing I was uncharacteristically comfortable with someone touching me like that and I think it was because I didn't have any sexual feelings during the time that we dated and so I never flagged anything as sexual. I'm not looking for blame or anything like that, I'm just genuinely curious to know if this is a common thing for lesbians to go through- dating someone and just letting them do whatever they want to you because, well, you don't feel any sexual tension anyways so it must be fine. Let me know your thoughts!

Bio

Recent forum posts

Talk to an expert therapist

🌈 Lisa Meighan is a psychotherapist registered with the British...

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Bio