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barncat
57,692 M Confident Walk 5
PathStep 1,113 Compassion hearts5,284 Forum posts3,322 Forum upvotes3,938 Current upvotes3,938 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2024 Member sinceAugust 26, 2019
Bio

"Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans"  OMG how true. 2022 has it's own agenda.  Reconnecting with my community, health, friends and family.  Thank heavens for 7 cups. Gotten me through lots of trials and tribulations. Our mental health is a priority. Barncat no longer with me, but have a sweet housecat, a dog and two horses right now.


Recent forum posts
How can I Move forward
Relationship Stress / by barncat
Last post
 September 7th, 2022
...See more My husband and I separated under chaotic circumstances last November. It was after years of feeling afraid to to really speak my heart. Walking on eggshells, being resentful and finding other solace in my life. Almost seven months later I agreed to let him move back in. We had gone to counseling - he felt heard - I felt "emotionally battered" in the sessions. I spent so much time while separated trying to understand what he says to me. Often felt deeply hurt by his statements preceding and during our separation. During the time apart I began to feel normal again, find peace in myself and look towards the future possibly being alone. The reality of divorce was so overwhelming for many reasons, myself being retired and him feeling entitled to years of my hard earned retirement. The reality that if we got divorced it would all be on me. I would have to figure out all of the financial equations and "hand it over" to him. It would mean either giving up what I had worked over 30 years for in our small community, or handing over a large portion of my future income. It really ate at me for months. I finally started coming to terms that I could essentially walk away from my home and start over. Did it once and could do it again. So now he is back, and my head and heart are confused. I spent so much effort visualizing life without him, possibly moving away from my community. Giving up my lifestyle here where most people dream of living. Selling my (our) horses. Everything would change. Except me. I am relieved we are finally getting along better now, but I am finding it really hard to feel inspired about the future. I care for him. But there are parts of him that I actually hate. Not a good way to feel about one's husband. I just wish there was something I could feel really excited about right now. This is the time of my life that should be calmly settled. Perhaps I am just bored with our relationship. Anyone else out there go through similar circumstances? We will be married 28 years this September.
Married 27 years - separated 3 months
Relationship Stress / by barncat
Last post
 February 17th, 2023
...See more Yikes, what happened. Life rolled on year after year. Partner has long term relationship with marijuana, it is his secret mistress. Undermined our marriage silently, and predictably. Had to "put up" with his habit or else. Finally he did something really stupid and out of control one evening, and now we are navigating a strange new life. Hard to believe life can be turned upside down so quickly.
How did you spend your day?
Hobby Zone / by barncat
Last post
 April 24th, 2023
...See more I am an avid equestrian- not great but enjoy the challenge. Finally started riding my husband's new horse. Boy has he gotten herdbound. Realized he hates being separated from his buddies- WOW- just like us humans. When i take him away from his herd he does a left turn back to his friends. Not a right turn- a strong left turn. So i spent yesterday getting him comfortable leaving - and found out if I anticipate his anxiety- and block him with a right neck rein- better. HOpe everyone finds something insightful each day during these challenging times.
Can't do this alone
Journals & Diaries / by barncat
Last post
 December 24th, 2022
...See more Find myself gravitating back to 7 cups trying to make sense of the new normal. So many life changes in the last 2 years. Wondering if I have the "strength" to wade through this biggest hurdle of global pandemic. Feels like the rug has been pulled out from under me. Looking for balance and especially Patience.
Horsemanship
Hobby Zone / by barncat
Last post
 September 13th, 2022
...See more My retirement dream was to teach horseback riding. However I "lost" my lesson horses this past summer. All 3 had to be put down for various reasons. Horses kept me sane during the last 10 years of my career. And losing my horses almost broke me last year. However we now have 2 new wonderful horses in our lives. I am prepping them for their job as lesson horses. But I am finding that my focus is changing. Simply working with children teaching horse communication on the ground has been infinitely rewarding. I found my passion in life- and love to share it with others.
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