benben00 Member Profile

...See more Hey, I'm a guy that's gay and was on the verge of a relationship with a boy and i'm just going to explain the whole situation and would like some advice on what to do. So, 2 months ago I matched with a guy on Tinder, we were both interested each other and both stated that we were looking for something more serious. We then added each other on snapchat and talked for many weeks and began developing feelings for one another. On the 4th of May we met up for an hour or two and then met again on the 6th of May at his house where we were quite comfortable with one another. Our third meetup was on the 18th of May where we met at his house again and we were at our best, we bonded really well and there was no awkwardness. We were very open about our feelings to one another. And now here's the problem, on the 16th of May I caught him on the app "Grindr" and didn't really mention it to him but you can see their online status on there and I saw him online very frequently so I confronted him about it, he told me he only installed it on the 14th of May because he saw a guy in town that he used to message on Grindr and wanted to see how he was. On the 17th of May (the day before we met up) he exclaimed that he was no longer "ready" for a relationship and I always asked why he thought that and he just said he didn't feel ready, however during this he also stated that he was very prepared to ask me into a relationship when we met up the next day and kept dropping hints to me he was days before aswell. However, like I said we met the next day and despite all of this there was absolutely no awkwardness and it was like that whole conversation never happened. The next day after we met up, he messaged me and still exclaimed that he wasn't ready for a relationship and I said that's fine but both still admitted to having feelings for one another. The past week, he has given me absolutely effortless replies, but would sometimes slip up and give effort until he realised what he was doing or jokingly called him out for providing effort all of a sudden, (we joked about his lack of effort suddenly). Then all of a sudden he kept telling me that it was best that we stopped messaging each other because he wasn't ready for a relationship right now, despite our feelings he basically wanted to act as if we never crossed paths or interacted in our lives. During all this, I had a fake grindr account which I was messaging him on and he would always tell this fake account I had (he didn't know it was me) that he felt ready for a relationship but he was scared because he had never been in one before and didn't know what to do. However, I would assure him that I cared for him a lot and didn't want us to stop talking and we could always go at his pace, being his call. So yeah, as of right now he stopped replying to me yesterday and basically told me that he was going to stop replying to me, I informed him that I would always be here to talk to him if he ever needed anything (he told me that he has no one he can trust in real life and doesn't open up to anybody) and I would always care. He said he would see how true that was and would message me in 2 months time to see if I still cared. I really don't know what to do, when he isn't opening my snapchat messages but I sent him a voicenote on whatsapp and he did listen to it, it just didn't make sense to me that he could never justify to me, personally why he wasn't ready for a relationship and wanted us to stop talking because he thought it was best that the feelings stopped for each other now. If two people have a mutual agreement for feelings for each other I'm unsure why they must stop talking just because he's not ready for a relationship yet? I want to continue messaging him but he's basically forced me out of it, I don't want to turn up to his house without him knowing because I've not had permission for that and everytime I would reassure him about wanting to talk, he would always be stubborn and say it was best to stop. I really do not know what to do, it's very easy to say "just leave it and move on" but feelings are a big factor and knowing that you like a guy and he likes you back is hard to just leave behind with no true reason.

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