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blackmage989
193 M Embraced 1
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2023 Member sinceNovember 11, 2023
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Working Through Cheating on my side
Relationship Stress / by blackmage989
Last post
 November 12th, 2023
...See more So I finally got caught cheating on my fiancé, and it actually feels good. Like I weight being taken off my shoulders. we are working through it and I’m more grateful for her than ever. We’ve been together 8 years, and my issues almost cost me one of the most significant things in my life. But where dues this begin…. I’m a minority who went to all white schools from 1st to 12th grade where I was the only minority per my entire grade. Seriously, *** was lonely. I was made fun off a lot for my different features - big noise, lips, different hair. And dating was awful. It was always the guy who the girls were not interested in. it wasn’t until I went to college that I felt accepted bc I could around ppl who were more similar to me. I didn’t feel like an outcast or token. But the scars are still there. Fast forward, recently I am into a large sum of money. My social status also suddenly changed with my career. And what was the bright idea I had? To join the dating site seeking and find me a sugar baby. I wanted to feel successful, wanted, and have a sugar baby felt like the answer. I found one and we went on dates, did hotels, all that stuff. She knew I as with someone and wanted to claim me for her own . now this relationship was far from bliss. She was constantly critical of me, very mean, unempathetic, and not a team member player. It actually made me realize all of the good qualities with fiancé, and eventually I wanted out. But I was stuck in something toxic. I wanted out and she would pull me right back in. Even after the sugar baby arraignment needed, we continued to see each other. my fiancé found out, she was is the person that actually gave me the strength to leave for good. So now as we rebuild, she has her daily blow ups at me. And honestly, I don’t mind, I’m grateful she is still here. we have such a good friendship. We vibe incredibly well, knowing each other moods through looks. We are constantly supportive of each other all day long, and can be completely emotionally vulnerable. Our families are also supportive, her mom text me all the time to banter and her dad constantly checks up on me. We have built a home and life together. I was dumb. I was seeking external validation when was I had right to in front of me should have been more than enough. my fiancé and I have had much better communication after this, discussing issues we didn’t before. But now I want to really work on myself so I don’t do this again.
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