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bleedingviolet
4,122 M Seeking Light 4
PathStep 63 Compassion hearts84 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2023 Member sinceJanuary 16, 2015
Bio

Hello. My name is Rhynn "Rin". I'm nonbinary and my pronouns are They/Them. I am Autistic with ADHD and struggle with Depression, Anxiety, CPTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder and Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. I'm here for support and to support my roommate who also has mental illnesses.  I have two cats named Dani (a girl pictured) and Fern (a boy ginger tabby)

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Venting Thread
General Support / by bleedingviolet
Last post
 July 21st, 2023
...See more 7/18/23 I've just had a *** show of stuff going on mentally and I"m Not ok. I'm out of hospital as of two weeks ago and i'm Not functioning. My Depression is basically 9/10. I'm no longer suicidal so that's a big plus. I feel so *** hopeless with finding a new job (been at my current job a year now which is an accomplishment I guess but I Hate it). Need to find something else but rejection hurts and depression is making me too tired to apply and go on interviews. Plus i'm not sure what skills I have that aren't customer service and I dont have a meaningful degree. Just got rejected Twice by companies I applied for that were in my degree field. I'm not sure if it's something else making me tired like Chronic Fatigue. Going to get labs drawn tomorrow to rule physical stuff out. I've just talked to my new social worker about trying to get an assessment for services and maybe get on a CADI waiver (although I don't think they will deam me ill enough). I got dropped by my previous social worker back in April without notice so the ball got dropped on doing the assessment. Its going to take months to even get that rolling. Stupid county services. I need my meds adjusted or changed and can't get into see psych until next month. Current meds not working and they were just increased while I was inpatient. Found out i'm Autistic in March. I mean it's just confirmed by professionals. Ya kind of know if you're Neurodivergent or not. It's just a slap to the face because it's one of the main causes of my abuse and thus complex trauma. Which I still need to work on in therapy. Got a new therapist so will see how that goes. Will journal more tomorrow. It helped to get some of this stuff off my chest.
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Relapsing?
Eating Disorder Support / by bleedingviolet
Last post
 February 26th, 2015
...See more I feel like i'm relapsing back into disordered eating habits.  I was never diagnosed with an ED but have had symptoms for 5 years.   I would restrict for a few days and then break down and eat until full and then purge. Id purge anything i ate or exercise obsessivly after meals.  I lost my period for a whole year.  I stopped purging and restricting in 2014 and gained weight and gained my period back. I had been purge free since last April but I broke that last Saturday :( I never feel hungry but force myself to eat on a schedule otherwise I eat to much and then feel guilty.  I"m tempted to purge after meals again and continue to restrict because I'm not hungry and don't feel like I need that much food. I"m also exercising every day and feel like I need to increase the amount I do. I developed constipatipation issues in the last month that I feel might lead to lax abuse. I feel like my disordered eating is all over the place but I can't tell my doctor because I don't purge on a regular basis or skip meals or lost my period again.
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