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blueKiwi581
158 M Embraced 1
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceMarch 1, 2021
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major friendship problems making me want to give up
Relationship Stress / by blueKiwi581
Last post
 March 4th, 2021
...See more So everything seems to be crashing downwards. A little background: I am 19 and live in a small town. My last few years of high school were really rough and left me with no solid group of friends. These days it's even tougher because everyone moved to the cities for university but I work full time and live at home still. I have a few very good friends 1, 2 and 3, who lived in a flat together in the city, and I'd go visit sometimes for a bit of an escape and to fill up my "social meter". I also have an ex gf, who used to be my very best friend some years ago, but after our breakup it was real bad and essentially we've mutually cut each other out of our lives. Problem one is the other day I just discovered via Facebook that Ex has moved in with friends 1 and 3, as friend 2 moved out. Friend 2 is good friends with Ex so naturally offered their room I'm guessing. Anyway I totally broke down and it feels like my place to escape has been stolen from me. Like I can't ever visit because it would just be so so uncomfortably painful and awkward. I hadn't heard from friend 1 in a while either, and it makes me wonder if it's because he didn't want me know to avoid upsetting me. I feel a little betrayed because he knows all the beef with me and Ex, and was really good support during those times. so that's been plaguing my mind the last few days. I kinda think it needs adressing with friend 1 but I don't know how to bring it up. Am I an asshole for even being upset about this?? problem two is this: today I found that literally my only irl friend who still lives here in Small Town (we'll call them friend 4) has made a concerted effort to block me on every single platform without any word. I didn't even know they had a problem with me??? They had been ignoring or replying super late to messages for the last few months, but they said themself that they're just an awful texter and not to take it personally because they're like that with everyone. The clincher is that we are also coworkers. so there's no avoiding them in everyday life. but there's no good time or place at work to be like "I'm relieving you, by the way how come you've cut me off?" I know lots of people say "I have no friends" but I LITERALLY don't. I have lots of kinda-friends and casual-friends, but no real close friendships where I'm fully myself apart from friend 1. I know the solution would be to "just make more friends" or "deepen friendships with acquaintances" but it's really disheartening feeling like everyone just ghosts, cuts me off, drifts, or just stops talking to me in the end. disclaimer: I am in a country that isn't in lockdown and life is pretty normal here
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