43 yrs old disabled male. Need friends. PTSD-C OCD ADHD Anxiety and panic disorder MDD agoraphobia and EDS it messes with somatic nervous system and helps keep that red alert button on along with pain everywhere and that probably dosnt help anything... I'm a ball of stress. I do have wisdom though from learning a lot about everything and basically teaching my doctors how to help other people. I'm not joking I have had two them different doctors told me I taught them how to help other people. That's cool. I didn't really think about that and it just hit me now that I did a little of what I still wish I could do is help people. I used to be a FF EMT and I miss it. Saved a girl's life one time buy myself. I mean I can still run into fire just can't deal with the people. So if I see a fire I'm going in without gear I'd I know people are in there. Early life was hell parents only seemed to pay attention to hating each other and My sisters. And basically I raised myself since I was 13. I have literally no sense of identity anymore. Get back done in school every single day relentlessly + my dad would pick on me every single day relentlessly and then after they divorced they went too being controlled by my mom and then around in my twenties I walked in on my best friend and my fiance f**** so that was horrible. Can't be friends anymore we tried but I just wanted to get away. What scares me is everything in my head send to get worse and worse then A little better than worse again. To many worries. Mom's got cancer now and I'm just worried about my own health. Any way that's the longest bio I ever written. If you ever been beaten down this far and more I would love to talk to that person especially if they can still function.