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blueforpink88
758 M Little Steps
PathStep 22 Compassion hearts83 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2022 Member sinceDecember 25, 2021
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I have panic and anxiety attacks every day all day
Anxiety Support / by blueforpink88
Last post
 December 1st, 2022
...See more I live afraid everyday most of the day. When anybody talks to me I will, at any point, start getting afraid, anxious, mad, etc. I live with roommates and I don't even leave the room anymore... I feel like I will upset them, or more afraid that I will be the upset one and make them have an awful time around me. They didn't even care who I spent Christmas with, we are from the same country and came to the US to work for the same company, we met a month ago, couple weeks was enough for them to know they are doing better as far away from me as possible.
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How to find a therapist
7 Cups Online Therapy / by blueforpink88
Last post
 January 26th, 2022
...See more I live in constant fear. I make excuses to not do things all the time. I make plans to do everyday basic chores. As simple as vacuming, taking a shower, sew my jeans, or a shirt, or a glove that needs repair, change my sheets, etc. I motivate myself thinking doing all these fixes will bring me happiness, and when I'm home from work, and do none of them o start having anxiety attacks, or "episodes", I feel depressed, I feel in panic, etc., and I blame it on the people I live with, that I don't want them to see me doing that stuff, or when I'm alone and I know they went out together, aka; without me, I get jealous, and/or I feel left out. And I use it as an excuse to do nothing that I planned. All this mind-set comes from my very violent childhood, I was mentally abused all the time by my parents and older siblings. It gets worse than what I mentioned at first, that's just what's going on today. But little to say all my relationships feel like this above, I live around people who gets to know me, and we work and live together at the company's employee housing, and after just a couple days people stops talking to me;, no one invited me over for Christmas for example. I pressure myself over my limits to "do the right, best thing" that could be done, if I consider something could've been done better I hate myself for doing it wrong. Like even writing this post. I'm already blaming myself for not being able to write better words, to write stuff that led me into getting the right kind of help.. and I haven't even hit "sent".
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