bluskiez Member Profile

...See more Hi. I'm new to 7cups. This is my first time reaching out for emotional support from others. I have a long complicated history, but I'll keep it short here. Hopefully, I will find someone interested in listening and with a similar need of someone to listen to them. I am in my early 40's. I have struggled with anxiety and depression since my teens. Right now, I'm considering medication again just to get through day to day activities. I've been in my current relationship for 6 years and I have no friends or family. I rarely go out other than to work or groceries. My partner has always had a different "love style" than myself, but it's worked and we were mostly happy. Lately though, we "argue/ disagree/ get upset" with each other frequently. Typically it starts over my reaction to something he's done that hurts me emotionally. I feel like I'm constantly trying to change myself to make him happy, but everything I do is wrong. He most recently told me that I love him too much and am smothering him. He says he is the man and I don't need to know or care where he is or what he's doing as long as he comes home. He leaves a lot to go to work (we own our own business), to go to the gym, to go out to bars, or just disappears and doesn't come home till late. I don't bother him at all while he's gone. But I'm not supposed to feel any kind of way. We only have 1 vehicle, so I am stuck at home. He tells me that I can go out anytime I want when I say something about him always leaving; but when I do, he's calling to see when I will be back. But when he's out, he never answers my calls or texts, which are only ever about important things. He also spends cash on I don't know what, but he keeps track of everything I spend. And when it comes to me wanting to go out to do something fun with him or by myself, I get hit with the guilt trip about spending money wisely. Anyway, I'm not doing so great at keeping this short... I have come to accept that he is a Narcissist. I know that this relationship is toxic. I am looking for others that have been through this or know someone who has been through it and can offer some real advice. Don't just tell me I need to leave. I know that and I want to; but with a business, my son, joint finances, and 1 car- it is really not that simple. Thanks in advance and I hope to chat with someone soon.

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