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bonlore
1 936 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts42 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2026 Member sinceJuly 20, 2020
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My sister is a nightmare roommate and I feel trapped.
General Support / by bonlore
Last post
October 21st, 2025
...See more I started university this fall. My parents didn't want me to live in the on campus dorms- instead, they insisted I use the money we would've spent on dorms and tuition (since I got a full ride scholarship) to buy an apartment near the campus. However, the catch was that I had to live with my sister as a roommate. I didn't think it was a good idea, but my parents said it was going to be better than having to live with a random person since I've already lived with her my whole life. My sister didn't do well in school. Our parents pushed her to take courses at a community college near my university, which she opposed to. But they said they would only support her if she came down and went to college. So, here we are sharing a 1 bed 1 bath apartment. My sister has always been a major slob. Months old soda cans and coffee cups laying out, piles and piles of clothes sprawled all over the floors and bed, food left forgotten on her vanity, and various toys and trinkets stacked up against the walls with no organization. I don't think she's done a load of laundry in her life. When we were at home, it was mostly confined to her room, so I didn't interact with her mess much. I think my parents just didn't want to deal with her disgusting habits anymore and thrust her onto me. Or maybe they hoped she would clean up her act once she was out of the house.  I think my sister is genuinely the WORST person anyone could possibly get for a roommate. Like, if I had just chosen a random person off the street there's a 98% probability they'd be a better person to live with. She has not done a single chore since we began living here in August, besides occasionally taking the trash out when I bug her about it. She has not washed dishes, she has not done laundry, she has not swept the floors or wiped the countertops. Absolutely nothing. Just like at home, she leaves her clothes EVERYWHERE, making it extremely difficult to know what is dirty and what is not. She uses my personal hygiene products without permission (like makeup wipes, facial cleanser, deodorant, hair products) at a rate so fast I only get about 25% of product before it's gone. She operates on a "what's mine is mine what's yours is also mine" mindset. If she buys groceries, I'm not allowed to use any of it, and if I do I have to pay her back. For example, if I'm cooking and need a cup of milk from the gallon she bought she says I need to split that with her, even though there's no way two gallons of milk would fit in our fridge. However, it's apparently fine for her to drink my teas, eat my chips, and rummage through my instant meals.  The worst part though is her utter lack of proactivity when it comes to doing anything to maintain cleanliness. Soda can left out on the counter? Nah, why throw it away when she can leave seven more soda cans on the counter? She opened a bag of pretzels? Why close it and put the bag back up? Why not just leave the food to go stale and rot on the counter? We have a fly problem now because she leaves SO MUCH food and drinks sitting out, uncovered. If she leaves something out in the morning, I won't see it until night when I'm finished with work and school. Sometimes I miss things because she leaves them in weird, hidden places. Today I found a coffee cup literally filled to the brim with maggots sitting behind the plants on the counter. I think that was my last straw. I'm so tired of cleaning up after her. I'm so tired of never feeling like I can relax when I come home because there's always a million chores to be done. I'm so tired of her stubborn and flippant behavior about how disgusting this all truly is. I genuinely think she's developing hoarder tendencies. It's affecting my mental health so bad, I feel like I can't escape always having to clean up this neverending mess. I genuinely would've rather had a stranger as a roommate my sister. I just don't know what to do. I don't make enough money at my minimum wage job to find another apartment or do student housing. My parents know about what's happening but they can't really do anything to discipline her. Even if I leave, I feel like I'll just be giving up and letting her have the apartment that was paid for with my college savings.  If anyone has gone through something similar, I'd appreciate some advice on how to deal with disgustingly negligent family members.
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