bubbledrop19 Member Profile

...See more When I was 16 I got into a relationship with a guy who was 2 years older than me. He wanted to have sex with me one day & I told him no, I explained to him how it was against my beliefs to have sex before marriage but still he kept asking. He told me that one day him & I were going to get married and that God will understand. I kept saying no and then he stopped. That was the first time. The second time he asked again and I said no & tried explaining to him again. This time he got angry with me & said, 'I thought you said you loved me? I'm going to get blue balls and it's going to hurt. You don't want to hurt me do you?' He kept repeating those words over and over until I felt so bad, I didn't want to hurt him so I finally agreed. During the whole time he kept asking me, 'You said yes, so I'm not forcing you am I?' And I said, no but deep down I broke. After it happened I went home, numb and cried myself to sleep, he texted me telling me that what we did made us become one. That kept happening everyday for the next 6 months, I mastered the art of zoning out every time we'd do it, after awhile I'd miss last period just to miss him coming to pick me up. Until he realised and started meeting me right outside my last lesson, so that, that way I had no escape. We broke up finally because he cheated on me. I'm 21 now, still feel broken. I get flashbacks still, not as much as I used to but they're still there. I don't know if it was sexual assault because I consented but the trauma hasn't left.

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