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charmingMap7687
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2020 Member sinceSeptember 22, 2020
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I don't know what to do?
Anxiety Support / by charmingMap7687
Last post
 September 14th, 2023
...See more I found you looking while looking for some help with my current situation. I'm a self employed photographer, who has been self employed for the past 35 years. During my career, I have had good times, when I made good money, and bad times when it was tough going. My wife and I have been married for just over 20 years. Over the past 8 years the photography industry is become more difficult and more difficult. The past five has been really tough. My wife and I have saved money, we over $300,000 sitting in our business account. It's not like I have not had any work, it's the amount of work had dropped. In addition, my wife helps with my photography business, sort of. Maybe, I shouldn't say helps. She takes in the money, mouths, off to people in know in the industry, who then stop referring me. Seriously, a very high-end wedding planner referred me and another photographer, because she couldn't refer only one. The client met with the other photographer first, and hired them on the spot. My wife bitched out the planner, until she finally said, ok, I'll stop giving your name out. This sort of thing has happened with other industry people as well. When I create a photography package for a potential client, she looks at the package and tells me, I need to quote them more. I almost always give in and we never hear from that person again. Needless to say, its been tough. I'm sure there is plenty that I also do wrong. I think I could always do better, or work harder. 3 years ago I decided I need to shift to something different. I had no idea what, after lots of soul searching, and research, I decided to become a digital marketing provider, specifically SEO. I got certified in SEO and I've been learning as much as possible. I have also been working on my own website, after a year of SEO work on my photography site I have hit page one with may potential client related search terms, However there are now no jobs. All the event venues have stopped booking weddings and events, Due to Covid, We lost some corporate jobs, pushed almost all weddings back over a year. Honestly, I glad they postponed and did not cancel. I landed my first digital marketing client and I have been doing very well with their account. I took the from, not being on Google at all, to page one with some search terms. They are thrilled. It has not been easy, however, I feel like I could make a SEO client happy, now I need more. I have started work on the creation a digital marketing website. While I've been working on this venture, my wife has been telling me, it won't work. We will be broke, and basically everything I do is not going to result in anything. Earlier this week I get my SEO client a write up in a high ranking website. I told my wife, I get the, this article and it's really going to help my client in a huge way, She just said, that doesn't bring in any money. It's been very upsetting. We took a cruise 2 years ago, her parents were supposed to join us. It was a very expensive cruise, before the cruise her mother broke her foot, and couldnt go. Before the broken foot, my wife invited 3 other families to join us. With the other people going we could not cancel. She was in a state of depression during the entire cruise, not so much because her mother could not go, she was depressed because she claimed we are loosing so much money we will be broke, and we can't afford anything. One of the women on the cruise was our accountant. She kept telling my wife; you are far from broke, She said, in a very upset manner, I"M YOUR ACCOUNTANT AND YOU ARE NOT BROKE! Just stop and try to enjoy the cruise, She was in such a poor state, there were huge fights with everyone who she invited, including our accountant, who flat out said, I came on this boat to be with you, and you have made this so horrible, I'm beyond pissed. She said, I did not need to pay for this. There were fights with the other family as well. Everything they did upset her. If they purchased a drink at the bar, she got pissed and said, we can't afford that, how dare they buy a drink in front of me. I was ready to jump off the boat. Now, I'm beside myself. Last Sunday, while sitting by our pool, my mother in law, told me. You know you are broke? At the rate you are going, you will loose all your money in five years. What are you going to do about this? Since Corona most of our business has stopped, I have been doing some work, and I actually booked 2 weddings over the past 2 weeks. We took in $3500.00 in deposits over the last 48 hours. Still not much money is coming in. Then my mother in law, said to me, if you don't find a job, making at least $50,000 per year in the next two months, my daughter would divorce you. She sort of said this with a grin. I was blown away, before this out burst she always seemed to like me. She kept following it up with, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO! YOU HAVE TWO MONTHS!! YOU BETTER FIGURE IT OUT! I told her I don't think we are broke, we have over $300,000.00 in the bank, and once the industry re-starts business should pick up, plus I'm working on my digital marketing business. She just got more upset and said, WELL YOU BETTER GET THE BUSINESS STARTED DAM FAST. I have really mixed feelings about this. We have a 16 year old son, we are going to divorce, and tell him its because I don't make enough money? By the way, my wife doesn't work, and she says it's because she can't get a job after attending a very expensive university and getting a BA in art at a school that cost over $90,000.00 per year. Could I get a job driving Uber? I guess. I don't want to divorce, but I also feel like, I'm getting pushed around, with this nonsense. Maybe it's for the best. I'm sorry but I can't get on my knees and cry to my wife and her mother, Ill do anything, Fast food, Uber, The local supermarket. Today, I sat down with my wife and looked at our bank account, $175,000.00 in the business account, a CD with another, $150,000.00 and $90,000 in our savings account. Is that broke? I really have no idea what to do.
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I'm expecting divorce papers in two months.
Anxiety Support / by charmingMap7687
Last post
 September 26th, 2020
...See more Sunday has been a tough day. I have been self employed for well over 35 years. Over the last five years my business has been sliding down hill. There are lot's of reasons for this, Needless to say it's been stressful. About a year ago I took the step toward learning something new, and starting a different business. I'm in the process of getting my new business of the ground. It's not like we are broke, but it has been tough. When Crona hit, that killed almost all the jobs from my business. Sunday, while my inlaws were visiting, my mother in law started a conversation in which she said, you should know, if you don't make X more money, the shit is going to hit you big time. So you better start making a lot more money. or be prepared. This from my wifes mother, as she cracked a grin. I don't know what kind of job she thinks I'm going to get. Pushing almost 60, at a time when almost everything is shut down. She said get a job at Costco and work your way up to $50,000 and do it fast. You have 2 months. There is obviously more to the story. With my current businss I make very good money per job, even a really bad job makes me more than I would ever make doing something else. Anyway, I'm floored that this would even come out of her mouth.
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