communicativeCake5170 Member Profile

...See more I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half long distance and everything used to be so easy. We'd talk on the phone all day everyday and give each other so much attention and affirmation that I felt like we'd never struggle, but now things are really going downhill. Lately anytime I hang out with my friends he will find a reason to be upset when I'm trying to have fun, even when I warn him of my plans so he can expect I won't be online. This last time, he accused me of not putting in extra effort to connect like we agreed upon about a week ago. I thought that warning him that I'd be busy for one night would be enough so that I could have fun with my friend after work, but it just wasn't and I feel awful now. Part of me is mad that he couldn't give me one day, and the other part of me feels guilt for letting him down and not being enough. A couple weeks back we also had a really bad fight over our different political views, and while I tried to stay respectful, he start calling me names and saying that I was dumb and immature. I felt horrible, and after a few hours he apologized and backpedaled on everything he'd said before. I just feel relieved that he acknowledged that he was wrong, but at the same time am confused if he really meant all that or not. I wonder if he really does resent me, but doesn't want to lose access to me, or if it really was just a simple mistake after a long day. I'm supposed to move across the country in early November, but I feel like the relationship is so rocky that I'm unsure if I should. I've been applying to jobs there with no response so it'dbe a move where I'd be highly dependent on him. If I don't move, it'll likely be another year before I can again, and he's already said thats not an option for him. I desperately want to be with him, but Im unsure if a massive gamble of a move is the right way to go. I truly want my relationship to work, but its just so hard right now. I feel as if he hates me deep down (he says he doesn't and that I'm projecting but I don't know). I just don't know how to get this relationship back on the right path.

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