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conscientiousTurtle7794
243 M Embraced 2
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes14 Current upvotes14 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2015 Member sinceAugust 27, 2015
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Forced to Pick Sides?
Relationship Stress / by conscientiousTurtle7794
Last post
 December 26th, 2015
...See more So I don't normally like talking about what messed me up so bad because I don't want to start a fight, but anyway: There was this girl I really liked. She wasn't interested in a relationship, which was cool - but then she just stopped talking to me. When I tried to talk to her, she would just say nothing for a while and then go off on me. It was like 0 to 60, if I did anything she didn't like she'd talk to me like I was the worst thing on earth and tell her friends terrible things about me. As best I can peice together, she used me to flirt with my friend in high school and then just kept me around as entertainment for years afterward. I can see why she wouldn't want to just come out and admit that. If there's any silver lining in messing with my head though, it's that I literally don't remember why I liked her. Like, the memories aren't there anymore, and I really have to concentrate to find them again. I could do without her okay. The problem is I like her friends. They actually seem genuinely cool, because all the cool things they do aren't meant to impress me, but a general audience. Her best friend is actually really super nice to everybody. I've tried to interact with her friends, but they seem kind of stand-offish and I worry if I'm bothering them. I can't just ask or that may be bothering them. I don't think they hate me, I think they just lack a reason to like me. They're probably preoccupied with stuff going on in their own respective personal lives that has nothing to do with me. I think they may also just really not want to get involved; like they don't want to be seen as taking a side. There really shouldn't be a conflict to take sides *on*, but I don't have any control over that. I wish there was some way I could talk to them without them having to take a side, but I don't really know if that's the problem.
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Not Letting the Anxiety Define You
Anxiety Support / by conscientiousTurtle7794
Last post
 September 13th, 2015
...See more So I've never had an anxiety attack exactly. For me it's generally more of an all the time, constantly strung-out thing that makes it really hard to focus on or finish anything. I pace and fidget *a lot*, I chew my lip, I rarely get hungry, and I procrastinate something awful. But I was thinking - I've heard people talk about trying to think of their depression as a separate entity, and I was wondering if that might work for anxiety too. I guess in a way depression/anxiety could be like a form of expression in itself, proving the point that there is something wrong/missing in your life - but you can't quite articulate what that thing is without explaining your whole life story in excruciating detail. The search for that missing piece becomes a part of your identity and self-expression, and the more you try and think of a "solution" the more apparent that absence becomes, as do the symptoms. So how do you separate the anxiety from your sense of identity?
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