convivialAvocado6094 Member Profile

...See more 10 years , friends for 30 plus , knowing someone your almost entire life , dealt with so many good times , so many bad times , loss of family ( parent , pets , close friends) . I never thought we would ever grow apart or to the point where when he touches me I literally go into panic mode, he says he loves me all the time , but I don’t trust his words anymore, found out to many lies and I don’t think he could be honest for one second anymore. He clearly is in delusional mode, having put up with his mental health issues, drug addiction, and verbal assaults and always hearing I will get help . Then he does for 1 year or few months and the person I knew and loved comes out again! I just don’t have the energy, time and compassion I once had . And worse part of all it I am stuck ( gave up my house , my job , my money ) to promote his dreams and job work with him in company he formed , I don’t have no saving , and no extra money and not even a car ( all things in his name ) and of course we didn’t get married because we both had been married before ( didn’t go well for either of us ) I just don’t know what to do or how to get over the feeling I have of complete failure and loneliness. And all the while he clueless and thinks everything is fine. I just want to vent ! iS there anyone else who have gone though this and how to cope ? I sometimes worry I might end up an episode of SNAPPED..

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