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courageousPomegranate766
8,330 M Moving Along 9
PathStep 23 Compassion hearts1,424 Forum posts48 Forum upvotes67 Current upvotes67 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2023 Member sinceNovember 8, 2022
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Feeling a little more hopeful
35 & Over Community / by courageousPomegranate766
Last post
 November 15th, 2022
...See more Today has been ok for me. I have been so isolated and feeling alone because of the obstacles that I have been facing. It has especially been difficult because sometimes I feel like I am doing everything on my own without the family and friend support that I think I should have. Sometimes I think I am asking to much. A visit or a hug from the people I love seems to be to much to ask. I have been working so hard to do better in life despite the negative thoughts about myself. I guess it's not for me to understand why. I'm a person who believes in hugs. I am a person who likes to smile. I am a person who usually loves people and life.
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A newbie
Depression Support / by courageousPomegranate766
Last post
 November 9th, 2022
...See more I have been dealing with feelings of not being enough and not having the support I think I should have to deal with life. When I fall short of the goals I'm trying to accomplish I get criticized and judged as an awful person. I certainly know I'm not perfect but I do my best to be a good person. Sometimes I get so angry at myself for not being so perfect and then I get angry at others for reminding me of how not perfect I am which turns into sadness and depression. I have done medication and therapy before which has been years ago. I had been doing pretty well up until now. Doing my best to be better
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Sexually abused more than once
Trauma Support / by courageousPomegranate766
Last post
 November 16th, 2022
...See more When I was little my brother touched me sexually several times. I blocked out a lot of my childhood experiences with him. He bullied me a lot as well. I don't recall the actual details of everything because I suppressed the memories and everytime I think about him I have those thoughts of him touching me. A few years ago I told my mother that something happened but I don't think she believed me. So I just act like nothing ever happened. In high school my mother's boyfriend grab me one night and pulled me into a field but when he tried to *** and realized I hadn't been having sex he stopped. He begged me not to tell my mother and I didn't because she liked him so much and I wanted her to be happy. He later passed away and I told her but she didn't acknowledge that either. Since then I have been sexually assaulted 2 more times which one of those times put me in the psych ward for a couple of weeks. I have never pressed charges on anyone, I just pushed everything under the rug. A few years ago I needed somewhere to stay and my "cousin" by marriage offered to let me stay with him and his girlfriend. Shortly after I moved in he wanted to have sex so I agreed because I didn't have anywhere else to stay. Most of the intimate relationships I have had have either been physically or emotionally abusive or just sexual relationships. I want so much to be in a wonderful relationship but the words of being just "a piece of meat" still play in my head.
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Toxic realationships
Relationship Stress / by courageousPomegranate766
Last post
 November 10th, 2022
...See more It has been difficult for me to date. My past relationships have for the most part been abusive in some kind of way. I know there is a possibility to meet a great person who would love me unconditionally. I tried dating for a few months recently but that did not work out to good. In 7 years that is the only "relationship" I have been in. I have used the last 7 years to work on myself and figure out what it is that is so wrong with me and try to make me right. This last short relationship kind of hurt my hopes for actually having a healthy relationship. Now I'm thinking maybe nothing is "wrong" with me. Reading the 7Cups book shed light on something I didn't even realize, maybe I have learned to be attracted to abusive men and I can unlearn this behavior.
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