creativePine9619 Member Profile

...See more Hi everyone, I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives on a situation that has been weighing heavily on me for the better part of a year. Several months ago, I had a painful falling out with a close friend and ex-housemate. He caused me a lot of emotional harm—not only in our dynamic, but in how I came to see his pattern with other women. One of our former housemates told me she had felt manipulated and used by him for physical intimacy, and even said she had been scared he wouldn’t stop at one point. She was clear that she had not felt safe. Another friend showed me a public *** post where multiple women shared very similar experiences with him (feeling manipulated). On top of that, he had once told me a story about a situation where he wasn’t sure if another girl had fully consented. That story has haunted me. It was devastating. He was my best friend—my foundation. We got so close and he became friends with all of my friends. I thought he was one of the safest people in my life. So when I eventually confronted him, I was already deeply hurt. Within 24 hours of that conversation, he completely discarded me and got a girlfriend. It didn’t just feel fast—it felt calculated. Like he needed to discredit me or protect his image by suddenly performing as the loving boyfriend. He told me he was scared of who I told. I had even protected him at this point by not telling anyone except one friend. One of the hardest parts of all this has been how a mutual friend—let’s call her N—responded. I confided in her when I was at my lowest, but she downplayed what I had experienced. Not long after, she was regularly hanging out with him and inviting him (and his new girlfriend) to gatherings. Even though she’d sometimes tell me they were coming, it felt like she was subtly pushing me out. I think she just couldn'thandle her image of him changing. She didnt want to accept it maybe. She said she and her boyfriend had gotten closer to him recently and she thought it was because he was also in a couple now. The real reason he was trying to protect his image. The most painful moment was when she asked me if I’d be okay seeing my oldest friend—because he now hangs out with them too. It felt like my pain was just a social inconvenience to her. Yes, she has made effort to see me one-on-one, but it honestly feels like the bare minimum. I brought this group together, and now I feel like I’ve been quietly pushed out of something I helped create. I worry that my trauma has been treated more like drama or gossip than something real. This experience has brought up deep feelings of rejection, powerlessness, and even rage. I sometimes wonder if I’m seeing this clearly, or if my past wounds—like childhood bullying—are making everything feel even more intense. But I also know what I’ve been through is real, and the pain is real. It’s been nearly eight months, and I’ve felt paralyzed. Like this experience drained the energy out of me. I want to move forward. I want to find new people who are truly in alignment with me. But it’s been hard when the people I hoped would support me either minimized my pain or quietly chose his side. Has anyone else experienced something like this? How do you cope with feeling pushed out or invalidated by friends you trusted? Thank you for taking the time to read this. It really means a lot.

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