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crimsonNorth1347
1 55 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2018 Member sinceSeptember 20, 2018
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I still love him. He doesn't love me back.
General Support / by crimsonNorth1347
Last post
 May 14th, 2020
...See more I fell very deeply in love with someone. He was my friend in high school, then became my best friend after high school. We've known each other for 9 years now. For 6 of those we were friends with benefits. I know it was stupid. Part of me kept hoping since he had said many times that he did love me, but wasnt sure if we started dating he could give me what he thought I wanted from him, that it would happen one day. I kept telling myself to end the benefits part of the relationship, but we lived together at the time and I was so in love. I cherished all that time and being so close. At the same time I knew he wasn't over the ex he had been on and off with for several years. I was setting myself up for heartbreak but I wanted as much as I could get with whatever time I had left. I knew he'd never move on with anyone, even some other person, until he got closure with her or got back with her. I moved out two years ago, they started dating again one year ago. Yesterday he told me that he knew it was awkward, but I'm one of his closest friends, and he wanted me to know he'd gotten engaged. They've been engaged before, but he says this time it feels different. I'm scared for him, since I watched him suffer so much in those years they weren't talking to each other much and weren't seeing each other at all. But more than that, I wish I could be happy for him, and be the friend I used to be. I'm still just so badly crushed inside.
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