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crimsonSpruce612
1 4,449 M Seeking Light 6
PathStep 59 Compassion hearts184 Forum posts127 Forum upvotes175 Current upvotes175 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2025 Member sinceDecember 13, 2018
Bio

Hi, I love music and writing and nice people. and I am learning how to love myself -slowly but surely. I have experienced childhood sexual abuse and I contend with bouts of depression and anxiety. But I believe we can all heal when we support each other :)

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childhood abuse
Trauma Support / by crimsonSpruce612
Last post
 January 1st, 2019
...See more Hi - i was sexually abused by my older brother repeatedly from the time i was about 8 years old. I am male too, btw. for so many years i kept this a secret, not wanting anyone to know because i felt ashamed and alone. I felt isolated and guilty for allowing this to happen to me, even if it wasn't my fault. I never told my parents and it took me years before i even told anyone. i've only told a couple of people about it ever. but now i feel like these feeling that ive repressed for so long are starting to pop up and need attention. i get really scared and nervous when i think about what happened to me and im afraid the feeling will overwhelm me. i really need to talk about this i think, but its hard to know where to start. i guess being here is a first step. any advice anyone has on how to start dealing with this would be appreciated. i dont want these feeling to take over my life. i denied that it was a big deal and brushed it off most of my life, but i think this abuse has affected me more than i ever realized. i just want to be free. thank you for listening.
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