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csilberlicht
55 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2017 Member sinceApril 5, 2017
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I feel like I am losing everything. Please help me
General Support / by csilberlicht
Last post
 May 9th, 2017
...See more I dont know what has happened. I have been so happy with how this year has gone compared to the previous ones. Stuffing from extreme anxiety and depression in 8th grade was a big deal. I was so sad and I almost killed myself more than once and self harmed. I had no friends. Then a friend came and saved me. Then we grew apart. I failed school up until last year as a 9th grader. I finally succeeded and made a few friends. In all honesty my oldest and best friend has been a friend since last year. I am honestly really bad at keeping friends. This year has been odd. After being in band for a very long time, I have auditioned for an upper band and made it. But with my compassion in band has come hatred. All of the saxophone players who are new have been so rude and cruel with me and it hasn't ended over halfway through the year. That is one thing to pile up with my stress. Now is the issue with my friendships falling apart suddenly. I don't know if breaking my finger recently has anything to do with this but for the past month, I feel like all of my friends hate me. They have been giving me pain nonstop. We are at Disneyland with band, ha not really so great with the hell I am going through. I am constantly being told by people who I know I am more experienced and skilled on the sax that I am the worst and being giving toxic comments always. There is a reason I Audition and made the better band and they didn't. So that's another thing. Now all but like one friend have been giving me the worst time. I am being told by my best friend and all my other friends and lots of other kinda-friends that I am so annoying they have been so spiteful. I don't know what has changed. To begin with I talk a lot, but it has been that way always so that doesn't seem different. I have ADHD, same as always. They say I am complaining but it's not just me and they are so harsh. I am being told thinhs making me very upset. Losing all of my friends will be hard and I don't want 8th grade to happen again. Help me out please
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