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cutesavage
186 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2018 Member sinceSeptember 25, 2018
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Probable cptsd
Trauma Support / by cutesavage
Last post
September 27th, 2018
...See more Im not actually diagnosed with c-ptsd. I was diagnosed with traits of antisocial PD at 20 and ADHD at 17. I stumbled across an article on c-ptsd on Facebook and related to it enough to do some further research. I think this might be a more accurate diagnosis than ASPD. IMy parents were both, for lack of a better word, toxic. Growing up, my dad was a serious alcoholic. who enjoyed beating the shit out of my mom, and once in awhile, me as well. My mom on the other hand must have felt really powerless and really I dont think kindness was ever a strength of hers anyway, so to feel more powerful and in control, she took her frustrations out on me in the form of mental abuse. I was bullied in school and because I was a bad student (undiagnosed adhd and home issues), teachers were quick to blame me for being bullied as opposed to the good students who were doing it. In my teens, I was somewhat of a bully myself. I do think that part of that was because people had always been mean towards me, so I saw it as how people acted, a tool to gain popularity, and an outlet. No one cared when I got bullied so why should I care about doing it to someone else? For about 6 months, Ive been experiencing anxiety, depression, hypersensitivity to criticism, etc that Ive never had before and have thought a lot about my past. Last time I was in therapy I didnt go voluntarily but I think I need to now.
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