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cynderislame
32,161
L Discoverer 8
5.0 star rating
Rating
Number of ratings110 Number of reviews27 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish Listener sinceAug 28, 2016 Last activeover 6 months ago GenderFemale PathStep 175 People helped164 Chats259 Group support chats48 Listener group chats38 Forum posts48 Forum upvotes51
Bio
Hello, everyone! My name is Cynder, I'm a 19 year old girl, and I'm a listener here on 7cups! I specialize in issues dealing with a whole slew of things including mental illness, family issues, and substance abuse, but I'm sure I could help you out with just about everything or at least refer you to someone who would be better equipped to help!
 
It's important to know that 7cups is a 100% Judgement-Free zone! If you need help, you don't need to feel embarassed! Tell me what you're comfortable with telling me and I'll help you to the best of my ability.
Poem of the Day- Mingus at the Showplace- William Matthews
I was miserable, of course, for I was seventeen, 
and so I swung into action and wrote a poem, 
 
and it was miserable, for that was how I thought 
poetry worked: you digested experience and shat 
 
literature. It was 1960 at The Showplace, long since 
defunct, on West 4th St., and I sat at the bar, 
 
casting beer money from a thin reel of ones, 
the kid in the city, big ears like a puppy. 
 
And I knew Mingus was a genius. I knew two 
other things, but they were wrong, as it happened. 
 
So I made him look at the poem. 
“There’s a lot of that going around,” he said, 
 
and Sweet Baby Jesus he was right. He laughed 
amiably. He didn’t look as if he thought 
 
bad poems were dangerous, the way some poets do. 
If they were baseball executives they’d plot 
 
to destroy sandlots everywhere so that the game 
could be saved from children.   Of course later 
 
that night he fired his pianist in mid-number 
and flurried him from the stand. 
 
“We’ve suffered a diminuendo in personnel,” 
he explained, and the band played on.
How sweet and lovely dost thou make the shame
Which, like a canker in the fragrant rose,
Doth spot the beauty of thy budding name!
O, in what sweets dost thou thy sins enclose!
That tongue that tells the story of thy days,
Making lascivious comments on thy sport,
Cannot dispraise but in a kind of praise;
Naming thy name blesses an ill report.
O, what a mansion have those vices got
Which for their habitation chose out thee,
Where beauty's veil doth cover every blot,
And all things turn to fair that eyes can see!
Take heed, dear heart, of this large privilege;
The hardest knife ill-used doth lose his edge.
Recent forum posts
Distorted Thinking and Anxiety
Anxiety Support / by cynderislame
Last post
November 14th, 2016
6
...See more Hello everyone! So today we're going to be talking about anxiety and the various forms of distorted thinking that tend to come with it :). Distorted thinking is, simply put, ways that our minds convince us of things that aren't true. Types of Distorted Thinking: There are 10 types of distorted thinking that we'll be talking about today: 1. Black and White Thinking 2. Mental Filtering 3. Over-Generalization 4. Jumping to Conclusions 5.Emotional Reasoning 6. Personalizing 7. Catastrophizing 8. Shoulding & Musting 9. Labeling 10. Magnification & Minimization Black and White Thinking Black and white thinking means seeing everything in extremes; there is no room for middle ground and everything is seen as all or none. People are right or wrong; situations are good or bad. Mental Filtering Mental filtering means only seeing the negative aspects of situations, or only seeing what is wrong with yourself. Someone might leave a party only remembering that she forgot someone's name or that she spilled her drink. Over-Generalization Over-generalization means believing that the results of one situation predict the results of all future situations. If your thoughts often involve the words "all", "never", "always", and "every" you might be overgeneralizing. Thoughts such as "I will always be a failure in social situations", or "Things never go well for me" are examples of over-generalizing. Jumping to Conclusions Jumping to conclusions can involve both believing that you know what others are thinking (mind reading) and predicting the future (fortune telling or predictive thinking). Someone might think things such as "He must think I am boring to talk to" or "I am going to embarrass myself at this party". Emotional Reasoning Emotional reasoning is believing that if you feel something it must be true. Someone might believe that because she feels anxious, there is something in the situation to be feared. Emotional reasoning is irrational; feelings can have many causes and do not always reflect reality. Personalizing Personalizing involves blaming yourself for external events outside of your control. Whether you are partly to blame or not to blame at all, you believe that external events are entirely your fault. A musician might blame a poor musical group performance on his own mistakes. Catastrophizing Catastrophizing means turning small problems into big ones or blowing things out of proportion. Someone might think that giving a poor presentation at work will mean that coworkers will dislike her and that she may lose her job. Shoulding & Musting Shoulding and musting is a type of black and white thinking. It involves thoughts such as "I must always do everything right" or "I should always agree with what people say", hence the name shoulding and musting. Labeling Labeling is a form of over-generalization. We label when we make global statements about people or situations based on specific circumstances. Labeling is unhelpful when evidence to contradict the global statement is ignored. Someone might label herself as "boring" despite evidence to the contrary. Magnification & Minimization People with anxiety or depression generally have a habit of magnifying the positive attributes of others and minimizing the positive attributes of themselves. People with this thought pattern do not recognize their own good qualities and discount the bad qualities of others. How to Stop Your Distorted Thoughts: 1. Keep up a positive attitude, no matter what's going on in your life. 2. Stay in the moment. Think about the now. You are where you and and you are only wasting time if you are focusing on the past or future. 3. Be controlling. You can control the way you perceive a situation and the world around you. It may not be easy, but it's possible. 4. Be aware of what you are feeling when you are thinking. Sit with your emotions and figure out why you are having them. Once you recognize the distortions and identify them, you'll be more unlikely to be dismissive of your reactions.
6
Feedback & Reviews
Took the time to help me out
Lovely person.
Best by far
great
best help i've ever gotten!! super helpful, and very kind!!
Very helpful
I feel so comfortable with her, she's really a good listener
Very helpful and kind. She can help you.
very nice to talk to
GREAT. Super understanding. I needed help with an anxiety issue, and they were GREAT. Really helped me calm down and think about it.
Really thank you for talking me you have no idea how much I need this.
She was great! :)
Great person! Replies could be a little bit faster, but overall you do amazing! keep up the work!
Just an overall great person who actually feels like they are listening. First person to ever speak to about how I truly feel
They have honestly been a massive help - a short conversation has made me feel so much better. Thank you :)
I really appreciated my chat with cynderislame, he or she made quite an impression and I felt better within the first minutes
only listener I've ever had that feels like a real person, love her plus she's funny and cute 10/10
Really kind and caring with a quick response
Sweetheart
This listener is so amazing!
You are amazing!
cynder is a fantastic listener! super sweet, helpful, she cracks a joke every now and again to keep my spirits up. she's my go-to!
Cynder is wonderful
She/He is amazing, they don't take time to reply , and they discuss everything patiently , trying to find a possible solution calmly.
I love her! She's the best listener on the site
really nice
Cynder is such a sweet girl! She suggested I check out the anxiety guide, and she also helped me realize that creative writing helped my anxiety significantly! She even showed me a song to help with intrusive thoughts. Great 7 cups experience!
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