decisiveStrawberries2196 Member Profile

...See more My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 years and have a very secure relationship, but he has one particular friend who makes me feel very weary due to past events. Nothing ever happened, there was just a period in our relationship a few years back where the way he acted with her just came across really, really badly from my view and it made me pretty insecure. Add to that the fact that he's an avoidant type and I'm an anxious type, that when I went to him about my concerns he withdrew and didn't provide me with any reassurance while I just made him feel smothered and controlled. Things got better though, and the friend actually stopped talking to him for a couple years which I didn't mind at all. However, she recently got in touch with him again and I can feel all the terrible feelings flooding back. I know that I'm in the wrong here. I know there's nothing to worry about, and I'm just being jealous and clingy and paranoid. The part of my brain that's experienced nothing but bad relationships all around me is sending me into panic mode, as well as just general fear of abandonment. I don't really feel like I can talk to him about this, because I don't want to risk pushing him away in case there's any misunderstanding, and also because this is an issue with me and not with him. But I also have absolutely no idea how to get past this on my own and YouTube videos aren't helping much, haha. As I mentioned, anyone I know is either in a bad relationship or is the "crazy girlfriend" stereotype who doesn't think a guy and a girl can just be friends so I don't feel like I can talk to anyone around me, either. So, long story short, does anyone have tips on how to stop feeling so insecure in a relationship? Or has anyone else had similar experiences?

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