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determinedLion9938
71 M Embraced
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2023 Member sinceJune 12, 2023
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The happiness is fading
Relationship Stress / by determinedLion9938
Last post
 June 18th, 2023
...See more I met Jim after getting out of a toxic relationship. Side note I have severe depression,anxiety,ptsd,bipolar 1,borderline personality disorder. I just wanted to talk and date not rush into a relationship I wasn't quite ready but I still wanted to enjoy myself. Jim and I started talking and he seemed sweet and onboard. When we met it seemed like he was already obsessed and I really really wish I made a choice then to not begin a relationship with him. He wanted to touch me before our relationship began and I told him my feelings toward that. He knows alot about me because I voice things I make things known. We're going on 4 months and I'm not happy anymore. The spark is gone,I'm not attracted anymore, I don't want to do things, we never had sex because I don't want to with him and that's not fair. He pushes and rushes things when I told him were going to fast with our relationship he said he doesn't think we're rushing. He was the first to say I love you, he wants to marry me so much that his mom gave him his grandmother's wedding ring, he talks about having kids constantly. How he wants to get a place so bad and fast and im not ready for that. I would love to have that but I don't know if I want that with him. He wants to be with me all of the time and if he's not he's talking to me constantly. It's the you know I love you so much, you fill my heart, you make me so happy, you are my peace, I'm so comfortable with you and I could go on and on and it once made me happy hearing those things but not so much anymore because it's constant. He's always got to touch me, when I made it known he touches me more and the other night he said I know you don't want to be touched I can tell but I love you and I'm going to touch you anyway. It's the constant neck massages or put your legs on me ill rub them or rubbing my belly or trying to hold my hand or rubbing my chest trying to touch my *** constantly even if I push away or make a noise he's still gotta touch me. I enjoy going out and doing things together it's nice, but constantly going out when he doesn't have much money to spend, always wanting to spend time together is *** me dry. I need time for self care I need time to release and be alone. Not getting that time is killing me. I'm getting more and more depressed. I would love to be friends with him and continue hanging out or going out every now and then but this relationship I thought was perfect isn't making me happy anymore. It's making me feel sick. It's good to be loved and happy, but I just feel smothered and over loved it's almost creepy. Like I dont want to be bothered and the times I'm not with him I feel a weight lifted. I feel terrible, because I do genuinely care about him and like I said I love going out with him and hanging out and doing things together but I just I don't see myself with him in the future anymore im not happy, I'm fading away, I have alot like already going on in my head and in my life and my relationship is like stressing me out. He's a great guy, I just don't know what to do.
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