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diplomaticWest1394
555 M Embraced 4
PathStep 26 Compassion hearts27 Forum posts52 Forum upvotes96 Current upvotes96 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2021 Member sinceFebruary 26, 2018
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Different ways of expressing affection
Relationship Stress / by diplomaticWest1394
Last post
 May 18th, 2021
...See more Is it wrong to state what I need and leave if the other person can't meet them? I basically just told this girl I was seeing for a few weeks (barely dating), that her communication with me is not enough. We have cuddled and kissed on our first few outtings, but not much now. She says that she is just trying to get to know me. But I feel like there's something amiss. I also told her that she doesn't ask me that many questions. So I told her how I felt and she got very defensive. She mentioned that she was very tired, that thats not how she has conversations with people, and that her love language is quality time. I feel that I need touch to feel like everything is OK between us. And if we can't communicate now I might as well opt out before getting burned. I am a very emotional guy and I'm aware that I have my own issues. I just feel that need someone who enjoys touch as much as I do.
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Feelings of shame and Mother's Day
Journals & Diaries / by diplomaticWest1394
Last post
 May 12th, 2021
...See more I can't imagine writing about this anywhere else because I feel very embarassed about it. I just want to get some of this off my chest because of how uncomfortable it makes me feel. I feel emotionally awkard in expressing my love for other people, especially around Mother's Day. I just feel a shame and awkwardness in how I connect with my Mom, and I feel bad for not being able to show her how I much I appreciate her. I don't know if it's because of societal pressure or my relationship with her growing up. I am one of the middle children of 5 total (4 boys and 1 girl). I am a 30 years old, male and single. I've had plenty relationships in my life - some lasting years others a few months. For the romantic relationships that did last a while, I felt comfortable expressing myself, but I've always felt somewhat uneasy with my Mom. I just don't know how to interact with her in that way. Should I feel bad for this? Should I feel the need to change how I approach it? I don't know. I usually get her flowers and a card of gift and hug her/tell her I love her, but it never feels enough. I always go home feeling uncomfortable. I don't know what I'm expecting to hear on here. I just felt the need to write this out. Thanks for reading.
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I don't know what to do anymore
Depression Support / by diplomaticWest1394
Last post
 February 8th, 2021
...See more Somedays it feels so incredibly difficult. I feel so alone that its painful. I have learned how to journal and write about my anxieties, but dealing with lonliness is something else. I am deeply missing someone I used to date over three years ago. I havent talked to this person since then and I dont know if I ever will be able to. From the day we broke up to today, I feel like nothing has changed. I still feel so awful about it. This grief completely eaten me up inside. I'm a totally different person. What am I supposed to do? I have met so many new people since we dated, but no one has felt the same. Am I just supposed to keep going on being depressed because I wasn't sure it was going to work out? I have a good paying job in an essential industry and I could care less about any of it. I could care less about my future. Nothing I do has meaning without someone to share it with. Meanwhile, I am forced to watch my friends start families and am expected to support them. If I won a million dollars tomorrow I literally could not care less. Why can't I get over this. Drugs and alcohol dont help. They just make me feel worst. I just don't know how I'm supposed to get through this.
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Isolation anxiety
Anxiety Support / by diplomaticWest1394
Last post
 February 7th, 2021
...See more I have a really hard time dealing with living alone. I just get into this fearful mindset when I get home from work. I've always hated being alone, but this past year has been harder. How do I ease this existential dread? Keeping myself busy helps, but sometimes it just feels like my mind is filled with this void and everything I do suddenly stops having meaning.
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The only time I feel like myself is after exercise
Depression Support / by diplomaticWest1394
Last post
 December 12th, 2020
...See more I'm laying in bed right now because I'm too tired to do anything, but too awake to take a nap. Im thinking back to how I felt the other day after going for a 30 minute jog. There was a moment where I felt totally free from anxiety and my apprehensiveness to make changes. I felt confident and was getting excited at the prospect of achieving my dream of moving out of state where the mountains are. And I just thought, I wish that I could have that feeling all the time. Instead, I feel depressive moods most days which makes it seem impossible to actually start going after those goals. Does anyone else know what I mean? I keep wondering if there is something wrong with my brain and I should be on medication.
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Just a vent. Uncontrolled worrying today
Anxiety Support / by diplomaticWest1394
Last post
 December 7th, 2020
...See more I dont know why, but I have been feeling so nervous and scared today. Perhaps its because its Sunday, or maybe because I have felt especially lonely today. I went on a 30 minute run and felt good for a bit, but then my anxiety came back and I just have these moments where I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin. Theres just so much going on right now. I'm in the process of trying to get a new job so I have to think about telling my boss I'm quitting, and this brings out a whole new change. I'm also feeling lonely lately because I decided to cut myself off from this girl I used to date (but its been like a year since we even talked in person). I dont know why it was hard to delete her from social media, I guess it means that I no longer am going to see what she's up to on a day to day basis. I think she started seeing someone though, so I felt that it had to be done for my own mental health. Blahh. I feel a little better now.
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