disappointingdiamonds Member Profile

...See more Hi, this is my first time posting in here. About three weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. We were back to doing long distance with him being away at college again. He broke up with me because he felt like he was starting to lose feelings with the distance. He tells me that if it weren't for the distance, we'd still be together. We had no issues other than that. We've already had months of long distance before this and we were so in love, I never thought that the distance was going to cause any real issues for us. I truly believe he is my soulmate though. Years ago, we met and instantly we were best friends and both very into each other but never told each other. We both dated other people for years, and then ended up being single at the same time about a year and a half ago. We hadn't spoken in a while, but when we did I think I fell in love with him immediately. Every other man in my life that I was seeing casually became so unimportant. My ex and I were just friends for a few months, but we spent all of our time together last summer before he went away to college. I told him how I felt about him right before our winter breaks last year, and he felt the same, and that's when we got together. I have never been in a relationship more full of love and as comfortable as this one. He treated me so incredibly the whole time. He went back to school after that winter break, and we both started doing long distance for the first time. The distance sucked but we always talked about how worth it it was. We both genuinely had never been happier. I visited him for a weekend and he told me he loved me for the first time. We barely even ate that weekend, we were just so in love and just completely infatuated with each other's company. A few weeks later, he came home from school because of Covid, and we were together again, and found ways to still have an exciting relationship even with the social distancing mandate. We just wanted to be together, it didn't really matter to us if we were on some crazy date or not. We went to the beach a lot (beaches that had barely any other people or none at all, we were safe from covid) and just watched the sunset together. He went back to school about 5 or 6 weeks ago, and my friends and I drove to his school and visited him after he'd been gone for about a week. It was a fun time being there, but I couldn't help but feel something was a little off with him. We still had a great time and I could tell he still loved me then, but something was definitely slightly off. I just figured he was adjusting to moving back. A week after my friends and I got back home, he called me and told me he couldn't do it anymore. I wasn't expecting it at all. I had spent the night before writing a love letter for him that I intended on sending soon. I didn't know how to deal with the break up at all, I still don't. I cry every day. I lost 10 pounds in the first two weeks after we broke up because I don't really even feel hungry anymore. It's noticeable too, I was already kind of on the thinner side. We have the same friends so that was hard to explain to the group but they've all been supportive to us both, because my ex and I didn't get mad or upset at each other at all from the break up. We want to be friends after we get over this. I truly do want that, I believe he is my soulmate and I atleast want him in my life in some capacity. I love him so much. It hurts so much. I want to go back to when we used to take baths together all the time and drink cheap champagne. He is coming home in a few weeks to see me for my birthday and to kind of get some more closure I think. I don't want to get over him, I just want to be with him again. If anyone can offer me some advice I would appreciate it so much. I want to be with him again someday. We talked seriously about getting married someday and that's still what I want.

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